by Annette Van De Kamp

Created on: May 01, 2008

I am at the store with my daughter, and after we pass through the clothing section, we walk past the underwear. "Mom", she asks, "what's a bra for?"

Oh boy. I consider brushing her off, but there will be other questions later in life that I might want to lie about, and I need to build up some credit. When I answer very truthfully, a man I don't know throws me a dirty look. He is standing by the dressing rooms, probably waiting for his wife and thus already cranky, so I ignore him. It's none of his business anyway. Besides, he must not have any kids, or he would know that asking awkward questions in public places is one of the joys of childhood. The little buggers are born with an uncanny ability to embarrass mom wherever, and whenever, they please. Most of them have to do with personal hygiene. Just try to sneak a box of maxi-pads into your shopping cart and one of them will shout: "hey Mom! What are those for?" (Note to self: hide them well when I get home)

My children are masters at asking questions. I am oh so familiar with those "Looks From Strangers" that always seem to follow anything that comes out of their mouths. This look involves raised eyebrows, and pursed lips. It's the look that says: "your children are weird. It's probably your fault. You seem weird, too. I might call the police. Or maybe I'll just sit here, and stare, and make you even more uncomfortable than you already are." When I encounter these looks, I do wish my daughter would stop asking why, how, and what, or at least save them for when we're at home behind closed doors. After all, it's fairly difficult to publicly answer why werewolves only howl at the moon without feeling like you did something seriously wrong with your child.

I am, however, very fond of the questions that are directed at me, but really meant for other people. "Why did that lady not hold the door for us?" is a good one, as is "Mom, I said thank you, and she didn't say you're welcome! Why was she so rude?" It doesn't show much awareness of Derech Eretz, but I always think those types of questions are an honest attempt to make sense of the world. Also, children need to get their social commentary in while they can; adults can't so easily turn to anyone who slams a door in their face and gripe about it. As adults, we are much more likely to grumble in private, mutter under our breath and save the uncomfortable questions for who knows when.

Meantime, my daughter is in school, and others can deal with her outrageous questions. The other day, she asked the principal why on earth she chose to build Friedel right next to a cemetery. "It's been here a really, really long time, since long before the school was built." was the answer. "So it was here already when you were little?" Ah, a question and an insult all in one conversation: she's sharp and she multi-tasks, this one. I can't complain, though: I know that for every awkward question she directs at her teachers, I get ten. For each embarrassing comment she makes to strangers, I receive fifty. And the worst part of it is, she comes by it honestly. I distinctly remember asking my grandfather why he didn't share his M&M's whenever he took his blood pressure medicine. After which he started hiding those yummy-looking bright red pills in extremely high places. Not a dumb man, my grandfather.

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