by Lynette Alice

Created on: May 01, 2008   Last Updated: May 01, 2011

What is a girl to do? You're out of the closet, you're ready to date or try to make new friends within our wonderful lesbian community yet have no idea where to start. Where have all the good girls (Or bad ones depending on your taste) gone? I tried everything when it was my time and I have got to admit it was a horror show. In fact it was so bad I'm surprised I didn't need a twelve step program to get over the devastation.

At first I figured the club scene was the way to go. I was young and I really enjoyed being out so the idea of being in a club full of people like me I assumed would be non judgmental seemed perfect. A few drinks, a little dancing, maybe even a bump into the future love of my life scurrying about somewhere. This was going to be perfect!

The reality was the music was so loud it was tough to hear anyone which made not just ordering a drink tough but actually talking to someone near impossible. Then it seemed like there were at least a half dozen cliques made up of the lipstick lesbians, butch, soft butch, and on and on. Where do I fit in? I think I am type "X", but maybe I'm really "Y", but I'm attracted to type "Z". Where do I go? Even hazarding a guess at that was simple in comparison to actually trying to gain entry to a group. Within each clique were sub cliques of friends and not knowing a soul I was destined to try to work my way into one or just sit on the sidelines. After several weekends of trying at two clubs I gave up. I obviously didn't have the secret password or something yet.

As summer approached I thought Pride would be a great chance to met people but it was more of the same. It was more fun with all the various activities and fresh open air, but still I was woefully alone. I tried meeting people but realized that with the clique factor in full force just as it was in clubs I had to target people on their own and maybe then I'd find someone to just talk to or spend a little time with. By mid afternoon I gave up on that and resigned myself to conversations with vendors and pollsters for my human contact. It certainly wasn't what I planned on and with Pride being only once a year I had to find some way to connect.

I resigned myself to meeting people on line which was an idea I had tried so hard to avoid. I wasn't expecting or looking for love,just someone or several people to hang out with and discuss issues that concerned us. I wanted to meet someone that got "It", whatever it was. My first mistake was trying chat rooms advertised

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