by Annette Van De Kamp

Created on: May 01, 2008   Last Updated: May 05, 2008

Hollywood discovered a long time ago that babies are marketable, as is the experience of pregnancy. If you are pregnant, there are certain movies you will want to avoid, and some others you'll want to watch again and again. It all depends on your mindset. My personal attitude towards baby raising was -for the longest time- defined by David Lynch. Seeing that little wormy creature in Eraserhead destroyed any fuzzy feelings I might have had. Like a muppet on crack, it would not shut up. That image still swims into my head at the most unfortunate moments. Thank you, David. Not a good film to watch until your child is say, 18, and off to college. However, you can recommend this film to friends who don't want kids just yet, or -in your opinion- shouldn't have them at all.

The Next Best Thing is an endearing movie, but it might be slightly depressing to see how fabulous Madonna looks after having had two chiildren. It might even be enough reason not to like her anymore, although she has done a lot to spice up the image of motherhood, and for that we must be grateful. As far as the plot of this movie is concerned, it's fascinating that these people have a baby that instantly turns into a six-year-old. What kind of message is that sending to the rest of us? The first six years suck? And why do we see Madonna eat a burger at the diner, but we don't see her throw it up afterwards? Very disloyal, if you ask me. I don't care who you are, or how much money you have. A damn burger during pregnancy gets puked out later, it's the law.

For research's sake I forced myself to watch Junior. Now, I don't want to piss anybody off, because as I understand it Danny DeVito is a very powerful man in Hollywood, and Arnold does nice things for inner city kids and stuff. But I still can't figure out if I would have been better able to buy into the premisse if I hadn't been pregnant at the time of watching. I spent the whole time thinking "But he doesn't have a uterus!". Arnold pregnant and in drag: sometimes it's just too hard to suspend disbelief. But, it's such a nice premise! Please, yes, you guys can have it! And you will never have to give it back! Oh, if only. By the way, I think this film was made for and by jealous men. You know, the ones that still think this whole childbirth thing is the most beautiful experience, blah blah blah. It's the strangest phenomenon. There was a guy at my work place who couldn't get over this whole admiration thing back when I was pregnant. Every time

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