by Sharon Saunders

Created on: May 01, 2008

A Virtual Smorgasbord of Men

When my ex-husband and I separated last year, after eighteen years of marriage, I decided to try the Internet as a means to reenter the world of dating. What I thought of as simply dipping my toes in the dating pool, became a virtual feeding frenzy. How can someone not be attracted to Internet dating? A little information, a couple of pictures, and you just sit back and relax, while a fairly steady stream of potential suitors vie for your attention. (Where's my tiara; could someone peel me a grape?) I had emails and winks waiting on me when I woke up; I don't even have to be awake to attract men. What's not to love? Sure, the vast majority are not a match (I think some may even be in jail) but once in a while, there is someone who strikes a cord.

My ex-husband recently asked me if I thought we would be divorced if it weren't for the Internet. My answer: "No." It was the truth; at least, not right now. My marriage was volatile, and very lonely, but still, there was a brief period of time, after we separated, where panic set in, and I thought, "What have I done?", and considered asking him to come back. Though I desperately longed for a fulfilling relationship (one with less drama) the dating process filled me with dread. I was 41, years out of practice, working to take off the extra weight one accumulates over eighteen years, and my confidence was battle-weary at best. At the time, two of my cousins had found their spouses online, and I figured I would give it a try. The instant gratification was like a B-12 shot for my confidence, and I closed the door on my marriage for good.

I have met men of all ages, ethnicities, professions, with interests as varied as you could imagine, and a couple with interests you don't want to imagine, but overall, just good guys. The depth of information shared, before you even meet, would take you months to extract with the old dating process. "They lie.", I've been warned, but in my experience, no more than when you meet men the traditional way. I now have three cousins who met their spouses online, and I am confident that it will work for me as well, but what is more important is that I am enjoying the dating process that I had so dreaded. One thing is for certain: you will never find me putting on my cutest (and most uncomfortable) outfit, just to go down to Barnes and Noble to sit and nurse a venti, nonfat, sugar-free, Cinnamon Dolce latte, while pretending to read The Paul "Bear" Bryant Story, waiting for Mr. Right to miraculously show up at the same place, at the same time, and notice me.

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