by Alias

Created on: May 01, 2008

The key to a successful marriage has very little to do with housework, in my opinion.

There are so many other issues and concerns that come up way before your living together and sharing in any responsibilities. Communication is the key. Throughout your courtship I'm sure that the topic will arise at some point about housework and shared responsibilities in the house. If your honest with one another, you'll know then whether his/her willingness is something your comfortable with. The first mistake we make is thinking that we're somehow going to change things. It is what it is. There is room for compromise.. but shouldn't this be discussed before you share the same address?

Then there's the possibility that he/she used to help out with chores and no longer does. This is an issue all of its own. Once again, its all about communication. If you just quit doing something because you don't "feel like it", isn't that a bit selfish to put that onto your spouse/partner?
If all it took was sharing a mop or a broom with your spouse to make a marriage work, we'd be in much better shape as a whole in general.
Bottom line, keeping your communication open is the key. If you look at the issues that you face in your marriage.. as we all have them from time to time, they all stem back to the lack of communication. If you tell your spouse your feelings about something and they can't or won't compromise their stance on things, then that becomes a respect issue for one another.
Remember, the squeaky wheel gets the grease saying? How will your partner know what you need if you don't tell them? If you assume that they know, well, shame on you. We expect our partners to be mind readers sometimes when what we really want is an intuitive spouse.
If you feel like your spouse isn't doing enough housework maybe you need to look at things in its entirety. Look at the ratio of income brought into the home. Does that account for anything? Look at the hours you both work. Do you both work? Do you have children that should be helping? Who does the outside work on the house? The list goes on and on.
Talk it out. Make a plan together and stick to it.

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