by Sebastian Ramshackle III

Created on: May 01, 2008   Last Updated: May 21, 2012

Who in their right mind would want to be a politician? You? Didn't think so. Then, let me ask you why on earth would anyone else? But this leaves us with a bit of a conundrum. Tell me, my friend, why is it that so many people fight so hard for elected posts?

It gets stranger. While they're fighting for the job, they're mostly telling us how unlike all the other politicians they are. How they don't really want to be a politician but that they feel the call to serve the people and how they'll make everything better, or at least better than the other lot could make it! Once elected, it all changes and they delight in telling us what a very difficult job hey all have to do, that only the best are fitted to it and therefore they deserve to be paid highly. (Surprisingly, when they're talking about the best, they mean themselves!)

Certainly they work long hours, but we - the public - generally don't like them. We don't trust them and we're convinced that most of them are only in it to line their own pockets. And, for some of them, the evidence seems to support that line of reasoning. The problem is that its impossible not to have politicians. Its a complex world and someone's got to be involved in governing.

So, here's the rub. Is it possible to have an 'honest politics'? Is there any way we can make our politicos honest? Can we find a way to make the seemingly impossible happen?

Actually, like most things in life, the answer is simple...sell off all political offices to the highest bidder. Given that many of the occupants are corrupt anyway to a greater or lesser degree, let's find a way of making it work for more of the people more of the time.

By selling off offices, we could get so much money that most of the people could either work part-time most of the time, or retire between the ages of 35 and 40!

Why stop at political offices? The UK could pay off its national debt and have the benefits identified above if the monarchy was auctioned off for daily / weekly / monthly or, for the awesomely rich, yearly periods. Just think, flunkies and all that bowing and scraping to 'their majesties'. Who could resist that? Donald Trump could probably afford a three-day stint before his cash ran out, although Bill Gates would be able to last a little longer. The chance to be queen (or king, I'm an equal opportunities type of politico) for even a short period - think how that would look on your cv. Think of the envy on your friends' (and better still, your not-friends') faces.

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