by Helen Kelly

Created on: May 01, 2008

How do you stop doing what you have been doing for many years? When your children are young, and start fighting with each other over toys, or television, don't you step in to stop it? Don't you try to teach them to compromise? Or share? I saw my two boys start fighting with each other from an early age...maybe the terrible two's start it all. Or maybe it starts when the first "no" comes out of someone's mouth... I could no longer stand aside and let them "work it out" than I could fly. I could only put up with so much screaming, crying, punching, pushing, and wailing! It was my job to step in, and try to redirect that negativity into some other activity

Every mother wants her children to love each other. Bottom line. Sometimes they don't. It hurts a mother to think that her children will not have that loving relationship that family brings to one's life. It goes against a parent's position to turn their back on family problems. How do you switch that love and concern off?

I worry that my children will be lonely in life, or need some help from each other. In my fantasies, they are best friends who enjoy spending time together. Having fun, sharing the memories that life is built on. I would hate to think that they would not be able to prevent something unpleasant from happening to their sibling if they could. I want them to understand that they only will have each other in the long run...

I try to keep the channels of communication open at all times, for all kinds of subjects, or thoughts, or the expression of emotions. I have always encouraged open discussions, and hopefully this has given them the ability to get through problems when I am no longer here to have a say in it. Otherwise, I have a say in it. I let them know how important they should be to each other. How this relationship will be the longest one they will have in their lives, no matter how many marriages, or friends, they go through...they will have this relationship, for good or bad, forever.

I am their mother. I'm not afraid of speaking my mind to them. They are among my oldest friends. I want them to be there for each other. I am not about to "walk on eggshells" when I feel strongly about something that I think is that important to their lives...and futures.

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