9 of 12

Write now Article Tools

Maybe you remember your birthdays from when you were younger, the toys and clothes and family gathered around as you tear apart paper like your puppy was trapped inside. But do you remember your mom forcing a pen into your hand after all the guests had left saying those dreadful words, "thank you notes"? And do you remember not knowing what to write?

"Dear Cousin Joseph,

Thanks for the Lego's, I like Lego's. Lego's are fun. Thanks for the Lego's."

It was a disaster.

And now, as an adult with, quite possibly, an average level of maturity, you have to write more thank you notes than ever before. Thanks for the gift, thanks for the ride, thanks for the visit, for the advice, for being there, for coming to my party, for letting me come to your party, for the booze, for the bail money, for the alibi, for the kidney. It's really getting out of hand. But you have two, possibly three viable options. You can refuse to send any thank-you's at all, you can learn to write an efficient and synergized thank you note, or you can do something else, don't really know what, though.

Since the first option, that of being an ass, makes you come off as, well, and ass, we're going to skip it all together. If being a jerk is your goal, just do what comes naturally. The second option, though, of sucking it up and doing it right is something we can discuss. ("We" really won't be "discussing" anything; I'm just going to talk at you.)

And effective thank you note has 4 parts. Firstly, you address the soon-to-be thanked. Something like "Dear Aunt Mable," or "Grandma and Grandpa," works well, while something like "Yo, what up mah bangin' Grandmoms?" might not convey the love and appreciation you're gunning for.

Second, jump right into the thank you. A simple "Thank you very muchly for the alligator skin pajamas," will do. This isn't a postcard from downtown Siberia, so there's no real need for pleasantries and idle chit-chat. Besides, it's damn near impossible to keep up small talk via Hallmark without one of you simply realizing you're wasting your time.

Thirdly, throw one more line about the gift in there, and feel free to lie if necessary or fun. "I use it every day" works, as does "It looks great on the wall and doesn't eat too much". Try to avoid painful honesty, though. "I really have no use for it" isn't great. Neither is "Still not really sure what the heck you got me" or "To be honest, it's shit."

Lastly, you need to close it up. "Sincerely" is ok, if not a little clich and tired, and "Love," works in certain occasions, although possibly not with your boss. "I don't feel like writing more," is generally frowned upon, as is "I'll see you in hell you waifish hag." Whichever you chose, though, make sure it's from the heart.

Now, piece everything together into a nice, neat, thank you note. Hopefully this handy pocket guide to thanking people will come in handy one day and will prevent something like:

"Yo, what up mah bangin' Grandmoms?
How's life? What's the weather like up there? How's your goiter? When did you get those new curtains? Did you get a haircut? Thanks for book on how to build a tachymeter. I really have no use for it.
See you in hell you waifish hag,
Micheal"

Learn more about this author, Andy Paulo.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about What to say in thank-you notes and cards?
We want to hear your view. Write now!