by Denise Calaman

Created on: May 01, 2008   Last Updated: October 19, 2010

Look out! It's BINGO NIGHT! The smell of a Hungryman salisbury steak and mashed potatoes dinner fills my kitchen. Every Wednesday I take dinner out of the oven at 5:45 pm for my husband and then I'm off to make it to the fire hall by 6 pm. My only solace during a hectic week is that I get to hang out with a bunch of obnoxious old ladies with blue beehive hair and ruby red lipstick who love to yell to the caller, "Come on honey, shake those balls!"

 Bingo ladies are dedicated to their game. Some bring good luck charms to sit beside them at their table, others bring pictures and some even have lucky blotters. The Bingo hall is a flurry of activity and very noisy until the Bingo caller takes his seat. As soon as he is seated the room develops an eerie silence. As the numbers are about to be called, if you dare to utter a word to the person beside you, you get "ssshed". The room is tense until an old lady jumps out of her chair to call that infamous five letter word, the other blue hairs miffed, their ruby red lips curled tight.

After yelling "BINGO" most of these grannys do a silly dance and run up to the stage to the firefighter spinning the balls and pat him on the rump. Yes, the bingo ladies love to flirt while their husbands are at home asleep in their chairs with "Walker Texas Ranger" blaring in the background.

 Now the same old ladies go to bingo every Wednesday night at the Seven Valleys Firehall and they all know one another. They are like a clan. There is a queen bluehair and all the other bluehairs are afraid of her. The first night I walked into the bingo hall it was almost my last. All the bluehairs looked at me as I walked in five minutes late (I forgot to preheat the oven for the Hungry Man) and the game had to be paused midway. Bingo ladies don't like this and they don't like "newbies". It ruins their flow.

I got organized in time for the second game. After the sixth number was called, imagine my surprise, when I had Bingo. I raised my hand and called "Bingo". Calmly I walked up to show the judge my card. As I returned to my chair queen bluehair looked at me through cat's eye glasses. I shrugged my shoulders at her and said, "Free space."

At breaktime I got a coffee and bought the last whoopie pie from the ladies auxiliary. An old lady behind me gasped. I turned around and she whispered to me, "You took Beverly's whoopie pie." She pointed to queen bluehair who was waiting in line to purchase the very last whoopie pie. "She always gets

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