Listen! What does it mean and why should it be used in life? I have often asked my children
"are you listening or do you just hear me"? When we understand the difference between these two small words, listen and hear, then we can begin to see why it's important we listen to the unfolding drama in our young girl's life.

To listen to someone is to turn off all the sounds and other people around us, the noises that so often interrupt what we say and hear. When we listen we understand what is being said and their isn't any mistake in our communication no matter the age or the sex of the child.

However, girls are taught from an early age to be the bearer of burdens, the teachers of the times and what's going on in the world. Girls are taught that being a female means we are much more genteel and compassionate than our counterparts, males. We are taught to be aware of our surroundings and pass on this information to the next generation.

So we, the adults share our experiences with the young girls because they will be the teachers. What we don't see is that we don't know what we are sharing because we haven't heard the question. We aren't listening so many times our answers don't make sense and our young girls and boys think we aren't listening to them. We couldn't possibly know how they feel after all by not listening to the question and then answering wrongly we do sound nuts.

I don't believe that trauma is confined to the realm of females, but since we are the teachers of the young and are more often than not the ones who are with the next generation of children most of the time, then it is so important to make sure that the teachers are taught how to listen and answer questions correctly. This is also true if you have a household of males. Is it less important to listen to them? Will they somehow make their own way mentally and be the loving, giving man we want our young girls to grow up and marry? No, they too need to be taught by listening to them and responding correct.

We need to learn to listen to the young girls, boys, each other and people we come in contact with daily whether at work, play or home. Listening can make the difference between a person who cares and gives love and attention to his/her own children and the ones who abuse and debase their kids. Listening means you hear what is really being said, if there is sadness behind the words or happiness, if what is said is a comment or a question and do we respond with words or a hug.

We need to be careful when we separate the genders because a man is supposed to be more secure and tougher and a female quieter and kinder. These qualities should not be foreign to any person, all of us need to learn to listen to our girls and boys so that they will grow up to be the loving, caring adults who listen to others as they have been taught by their parents. We must make sure they too know the difference between hearing and listening because the way they respond can make all the difference in the world in the friends they choose, in what their future holds and the relationship they maintain with their families after they have grown.

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