by Melissa Cesareo

Created on: April 30, 2008   Last Updated: June 29, 2009

Stressed and Distressed? De-Stress now- here's how

May is the month of Prom, Mother's Day, college finals and graduations, wedding plans and bridal showers. But even if there were nothing to celebrate or prepare for, the condition of our economy; the price of gas, food and just about everything else in today's world may have you feeling stressed out. This article aims to give you some tools and suggestions to manage all the stress and distress you're feeling.

There are external forces such as the cost of living, crime, traffic tie-ups, and career downsizing concerns that we have little control over to stress us, but more so are the everyday little things within us that cause or worsen our stress levels. These include:

1. Sweating the Small Stuff-we've become micro-managers of everything around us. If the paper is not delivered on time, if the pizza guy is late, if the kids forgot their homework, we feel it necessary to either blame somebody or to "fix" everything. But life is not an emergency. Life will usually go on, even if things don't go according to plan. Which brings us to
2. Planning and over planning and being disappointed when plans fall apart. As the saying goes, "The best laid plans..." Goals, guidelines and To Do lists should not be treated as sacred texts. ADAPT.
3. Not living in the moment- Too often we spend all our time living in the past, replaying the "good old days" in our minds; or dream about the future- the someday when there's more time, more money, or the kids grow up. But too much nostalgic reminiscing or unrealistic dreaming creates dissatisfaction with the present; and thus, stress.
4. Expecting others to live according to your reality- We tend to project our greatest traits and basest flaws on those around us. "I wouldn't behave that way." Or, "If I were you...", become habitual thoughts or statements. But the fact is, others are NOT you and will not necessarily act the way you think they ought to.

So, to reduce these stressors we first have to recognize ourselves in the descriptions, and then learn how to change the behaviors and attitudes that cause us this internal stress.
A very brief self-help method of changing the attitudes above is to learn to let go, or delegate to others that which does not require your input. Prioritize, and if the thing just won't matter in a week or a month or a year-don't sweat it.

To Do lists should be more like Wish lists and again, prioritize. The world will probably not end if you don't get the laundry

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