by Mark Sichel

Created on: April 30, 2008

A traumatic event can make any of us feel shattered, fragmented, and overwhelmed. Some people feel like they're going crazy or will never get control of the anxiety they are feeling. We all endure a variety of traumas in life and when and when we are in the midst of reacting to a traumatic event, we may momentarily have difficulty drawing upon our usual coping resources. Below you'll find ten tips for dealing with trauma. Use them liberally. They're free and they're good for you and you'll feel better fast.

1. What has helped you in past crises? Each of us has different resources and different ways of coping with stress. Be careful, however, that you use coping tools that are productive and healthy as opposed to escapist and addictive behaviors, which are tempting at times of stress. Among the many coping tools that may have helped you in the past is exercise, a hot bubble bath, taking a drive, walking in the woods, going to the sea. Your opportunities are endless.

2. Time is the great healer. With time, you'll know what to do. This will pass. We all can forget this important fact when we're drowning in our own reactions to a traumatic event. It's hard to believe when you're feeling like you're coming apart but time as the great healer has been proven time and again.

3. Talk is the best tool for treating trauma. Think about whom you could safely talk to who would be comforting and reassuring: Friends? Family? Clergy? Make sure to seek out positive people who can offer hope, optimism, faith, and kindness. Run the other way if anyone you talk to is negative and full of doom and gloom.

4. Partialize: You feel overwhelmed by the symptoms of your trauma. Break your tasks down into small, manageable parts. You'll end up doing nothing if you try to take on everything. If your house burns down you need to start with the foundation and address the rest of the project when the time is right. If you've lost your best friend in the world, don't go start looking for a new one. Your first task to accomplish is to mourn the loss of your friend.

5. Universalize: Anyone who is going through a traumatic event of the magnitude of yours would feel equally unglued and at wits end. You're not unique in your upset and if you remember this, you can be kinder to yourself.

6. You're not going crazy. You have the symptoms of acute or post-traumatic stress disorder. They get better with time. Distract yourself when you feel this way by reminding yourself: this too shall pass.

7. Honor your obligations. If you put your obligations to your family, your job, your children, the community as a non-negotiable obligation, you'll be able to give yourself time to heal as well as a pat on the back.

8. Right actions lead to right thinking: don't start feeling sorry for yourself and wallow in self-pity. Look for ways to help others; that will surely evaluate you and lift your spirits. Find a way to contribute to the world and you'll feel like you've made meaning from the trauma you're suffering.

9. What spiritual tools are available to you? Prayer and worship, reflections on gratitude and service to the community will all help. Not everyone has a belief in God and faith to draw upon, but we all can appreciate the fact of our existence and the beauty of the world.

10. Live your life a day at a time. Stay in the present and don't let yourself become overwhelmed with thoughts of the future. If you can live in the present, your functioning will be at its optimum. When you're not looking back at a past you can't change you'll feel more effective because there are things in the present you can change. If you try to predict the future, you'll frustrate yourself because none of us can do that.

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