by David Bowie

Created on: April 30, 2008

It is hard to pick a side in this debate. Part of me wants to side with "No" simply because when you think on the surface, it sounds like a highly volatile situation: a boy, a girl (or boys and girls), alone, sleeping, and hormones. This sounds like a recipe for disaster. You can almost hear the cries of the baby nine months after the sleepover. But, the surface glance of something is often over exaggerated or completely wrong to begin with. This is the case we have here.

Coed sleepovers can be fun for all involved (including parents) without the fear of sex. Really the question could be reworded to say, "Do you trust your teenager or not?" This is really all it boils down to. Teenagers that can be trusted to be responsible when a parent is not around can be trusted to be responsible in the parents' home, when they are around. The opposite is also true, those that can not be trusted away from the parents can not be trusted with them around either.

If you must worry about your teenager having sex in your home during a coed sleepover, then you have already failed. What about those times when you are not home, like when you are working? What about when your child is hanging out with friends? What about the date they go on and you are not with them? These are all situations just as likely (if not more so) to contain sex, and possibly also drugs and alcohol (which can lead to sex). A coed sleepover is much more controlled than any of these situations because a parent is there.

A child that can be trusted would and should have the respect to restrain themselves whether they are at a coed sleepover or somewhere else alone with a teen of the opposite sex. Having a parent physically present or not should not matter to the teen that can be trusted. Even a teenager having sex in any of the above situations without the parents' knowledge might have the respect to not have sex in their parents home while they are present, such as during a coed sleepover.

If respect and responsibility do not motivate a teenager to restrain themselves while in the home with the parents, then there is the possibility of being caught. This fear could keep a teenager from having sex during a coed sleepover when they could easily have sex in any of the above situations, when a parent is nowhere to be found.

If you have an open and trusting relationship with your teenager, then a coed sleepover should not be an issue at all. Even if you do not have a trusting relationship with your teenager, than a coed sleepover is still more controlled and safe than any other situation where the teen might be alone with a teen of the opposite (or, in some cases, same) sex.

Speaking of same sex relations, with the current culture, experimentation of this sort is much more likely than it was 20, or even 10, years ago. If you can not trust your child in a coed sleepover, why then should you even trust your child in any other sort of sleepover?

The bottom line is trust. If you trust your child, a coed sleepover is not a concern. But, if you do not trust your teenager, then a coed sleepover is the last thing you should be worrying about.

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