Maybe once you have experienced someone abusing your trust, it's very hard to put yourself in the same position again. There's always the possibility that another person may hurt you in the same way, saying what they know you want to hear in order to take advantage. Better perhaps to avoid the chances of that happening, and sabotage the relationship before that can happen. The problem is that could mean a lifetime of missed opportunities, being lonely and very little else. And is that what any of us really wants?

Being insular may be a form of self protection. If you don't ever open up about your feelings or thoughts, maybe that can be a way of preventing other people from hurting you. Showing vulnerability can be hard, and sometimes it can be that the people who are the most vocal about smaller matters are those who find this the hardest. Even harder is when you want to be more open but have spent many years keeping to yourself. Learned behaviour is hard to change, since it means altering habits that may well have become second nature. It may be something you have developed through life experiences, or through copying the behaviour of prolific individuals such as a parent or grandparent. If you see a person like that acting in a certain way, then it can be very easy for a child growing up to assume such behaviour is normal bad simply the way in which everyone acts. Only when you get older and have other people or situations to use for comparison do you realise maybe that what you have seen is not the way to be.

The important thing is to realise that you can change your own behaviour, if you want to do so enough. Bad habits and behaviour patterns can be overcome and broken, and after some time you may wonder how you ever acted in those ways. However it is not easy. There is a great deal of self discipline required, and you may well experience setbacks as well as positive change. The question is, do you want to stay the same forever? If the problems that may result are any indication, I would have to say that personally the answer to that question is a firm "no".

Learn more about this author, Amanda Blake.
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