by MC Williams

Created on: April 30, 2008

What a concept, huh? To have balance is bliss. How to obtain balance is ....unthinkable for many. But there are those that have balance, and they are people to emulate. Before I started writing this article I spoke with several of my friends, and they fit the following categories; single moms, working, boyfriend to maintain, on at least one school committee, and at least one of their children does an activity outside the home that mom has to take them to. So I asked, thinking I know the answer already, you find out quickly how much you don't know how people 'find balance'. Each of them told me several things, something always gives, they are simply too busy to get everything done. If they spend the required time with their boyfriend, they upset their kids. If they actually get their kids to their sporting events then they have to leave work to get them their, and risk upsetting their bosses. If they take time out to help out the school, then they have to cancel a family night. So I asked them, "Then how do you actually find balance?", "I don't, I just make each day workout the best I can." ~ well that was pretty much what they said, with more colorful words.

Then I called my friends that had no children, successful careers, busy night life schedules and one pet to maintain. And guess what? They were as unbalanced as my other friends. I was surprised, but they didn't get the careers they have by being lazy. But the price of being a workaholic is your social life gets put on the back burner. And if your social life takes the lead then you aren't as successful at work ~ you can't arty till five am and be at work by seven and be at the top of your game.

So, balance I thought may be unobtainable. But I knew that wasn't true, because there was a time when I knew the same insanity and I found balance in my life. The first thing I had to do was look at what was important to me and my family. If we wanted to go to Disney World for a week, then I had to work overtime which meant less family time. When my kids decided going to Galveston was good enough, I didn't have to work so many hours which meant family time wasn't taken from and we went to Galveston for a week instead of Disney World. When getting to the PTA was too difficult I dropped out and found another mother that gave them the time they deserved.

So these would be my tips to busy parents:

1) Know your limits
2) Decide what is important to you and your family and accept that you can't be everywhere at once and not trying to be
3) Talk to your kids and really listen to them
4) Give your job all you can, but not at the expense of you family
5) Exercise, do yoga or take a walk once a week (with or without the kids)
6) Eat healthy, it has been proven a good diet promotes good mental health and reduces stress
7) Take time for yourself (read, listen to music, meditate or what ever helps you relax when alone)

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