I ain't no beggar!

It was a cold early morning in a busy city in a developing country. I was going to get my car, which I have parked overnight on the street, where I found her sitting on the curb. She was obviously dressed in old, unclean and messed up clothes and was fetching with both hands inside a big black bin bag for something to eat. What I saw struck me by surprised and I could not walk for a while as I could not lift my eyes off her. Seeing her like that moved my whole being and I immediately grabbed my purse and got out some cash to give to her. As I walked towards her she was not even aware of my existence. I reached her, ducked and handed her the money with a sympathetic smile on my face. She looked at me with very determined yet worn out eyes and all I heard her say before walking away was "I ain't no beggar!".

I couldn't stop thinking of her for several days. How can somebody in such a desperate need refuse to receive help? This question is very difficult to answer and also very philosophical. It made me wonder about the issue of giving and receiving and whether it is really true that giving is better than receiving?

I think giving and receiving are the two sides of the same coin, you cannot have one without the other. Please understand that I am not only talking about money and materialistic things, I am talking about giving and receiving in a general context.

Nobody gives anything without receiving something in return. Basically, you give because you receive a kind of self satisfaction. Giving makes you feel you are a good person, a person of moral value. This satisfaction is something you actually receive in return. Even when we examine emotional aspects, it is very difficult to give without receiving in return. Maternal love is the only form of giving without expecting anything in return. It is more of an instinct that can hardly be explained by worldly calculations. Other than this exception, you cannot give love, respect, care..etc without having your own supply of the same virtues. You need to feel you are loved and respected to be able to give people around you those qualities back.

All I want to say really is that you have to balance between giving and receiving and you have to know when to give and when to receive. You have to learn to enjoy both sides of the coin and be happy to receive from the ones who love you. Simply when you receive their gifts or emotions you are giving them a chance to show you how much they care for you. And in return you are unconsciously giving them love and self satisfaction.

Learn more about this author, Yoya.
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