by Patti Mcquillen

Created on: April 29, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

Alcoholism cost my late father his marriage, more than a decade of time and almost his life. It began before my mother married him in 1970. He added liquor to her drink, knowing she would not drink it; he always did it for her. This continued during their five and a half year, turbulent marriage.

One time he became outraged and threw a green glass at her head. She barely escaped injury by ducking behind their bedroom door as the glass shattered against it. I distinctly remember this time and times when my mother and I would find beer deliveries on the front porch. Next, he chose dishonesty and then vanished.

He returned after seven years. People in a neighboring county discovered him, unconscious and desperately ill, and took him to a monastery where the kind monks helped him heal and wage war against his addiction. He became my father again, continued therapy, gave all he owned to those in need, and died when I was seventeen.

I was not ready to lose him, and I wish I could tell him how proud I am for beating his addiction. My father always wanted to make a difference and he did through prayer, therapy and finding his path. He was not a star; he was a leader. By example, he led addicts away from alcoholism, helped them locate and implement resources, and start a relationship with God.

Learning to overcome his addiction meant acknowledging, accepting and working. He listened to those who went before him and with determination, fought for a better tomorrow. Attending Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), asking for help and following through in a fair and consistent manner helped him start the journey. He did this for others and himself. The road, long and filled with holes, gave him purpose.

He believed by showing others how to fight the alcohol, he would overcome it himself. He knew addicts considered actions more than words. When the road took a sharp turn or dipped and sent him backwards, he called supporters for help. He shut himself in a quiet, safe place and prayed. He progressed through small, sensible steps. Everything he gained, he shared; thus, helping others and himself win, not just the battle, yet the war too.

My father's legacy continues to help alcoholics. Through his leadership, others now reach out to addicts; listen to their concerns and fears; talk and pray with them; and show them the steps needed to overcome alcoholism. His inspiration is not found on any wall plaque; it is found in the motivation people discover when they acknowledge their addiction. It

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