by Jim Armstrong

Created on: December 14, 2006   Last Updated: May 16, 2007

Adopting a child should not be taken lightly.
I am an adopted child, I was adopted at age 6.
As an adopted child, now a 40 year old man, I think that when a perspective family ponders the thought of adoption, the thought of adopting should include the thought of, when the child grows up can I accept the fact that the child will possibly want to search out his or her birth relatives.

I know children need families, I know these children need love and affection, I know as well that the age of the child will determine whether or not the child will remember the physical abuse or mental abuse if this is the case for the child.
I myself am pro adoption, I have a profound thought of joy when I hear of a family adopting a child. My profound joy is fueled by the thought that a child is now wanted,or for better choice of words, chosen.
I do realize that a wide range of children are made ward of the state or here in Canada, wards of the Crown, this I know comes due to loss of parents from accidents or loss by natural cause.
I profoundly suggest to all adoptive parents, please search out counseling for your new addition to the family tree. By getting some counseling from the onset you may thwart future difficulties in the area of the child's self esteem and overall mental health.
I myself came from an abusive situation. When I was adopted in the early 70's there was not the awareness in the areas of mental health as there is today. In the 70's the way for dealing with abuse or loss was to let the child suck it up and put it away. Today the way to deal with this is so much different, now there is a huge awareness of how the abuse or loss can impact on the future of the child. Remember, children grow up as a product of the past, this does not mean that every abused child will be an abuser, rather the fact is that most abused children are the opposite however, there is a percentage that will be abusive. By acting on the abuse from the onset you may just allow for the child to have a way better future, education, socially sound future starts from the fist day of a child's life, again, we are a product of our path.
Adopting a child who has lost birth parents due to death by accident or natural cause will also be challenging. I have to remind everyone that this type of loss is not nearly as profound as abuse. Abuse leaves in most cases, physical scars and profound mental scars. Loss due to death, if not dealt with properly will leave a child an a state of confusion. Confusion can lead

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