by Monica Who

Created on: April 28, 2008

The best gift I ever received from God is not a topic I'm prone to discuss at a moment's notice because it is a very personal one. While I am not accustomed to open discussion of personal and private matters, I have shared my experience with others whenever it seemed appropriate because by sharing it, my greatest gift from God could be a gift to someone else.

It came when I was a young woman, living on my own for the first time in my life. I was not educated in religion and had no foundation of faith to give me strength during hard times. It's not that I was an unbeliever; I just didn't have much of a relationship with God. I was like millions of other young women in the world.

A series of losses and traumas, culminating in a horrific rape and assault, caused me to fall into despair. I became suicidal. I gave up on myself and all of life. I made a detailed plan and began taking steps to carry it out; I even had a specific date picked out.

However, just a few days before the horrible date, I began to feel a bit "off." I wasn't sick to my stomach or fatigued, but something felt awful different! I suspected pregnancy and went to the doctor, even though it was probably too soon to tell and even though I already made up my mind to kill myself. I thought it would be prudent to check anyhow.

I'm sure it is no surprise to any believer that I discovered I was indeed pregnant. Something changed in me the moment it was confirmed that a tiny, helpless human being was growing inside of me. My life had instant meaning and value again! It no longer mattered that I had suffered terrible things, or that my heart and my very soul were broken beyond recognition. It made no difference that I barely knew God: He knew me and He saw fit to reach down from his Heavenly throne and bless me. He blessed me with an unbreakable will to live, he blessed me with a child, he blessed me with pure love, he blessed me with selflessness.

He has also blessed me with a personal experience that I've been able to share with other rape survivors and women struggling with the decision to get an abortion. He gave me my son, the greatest gift of my entire life, but he also gave me a tiny promise of his love that I can pass on and share with anyone else who may be in need of hope, a tiny promise, or even just the idea of a light in the darkness.

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