by Linda Braymiller

Created on: April 28, 2008   Last Updated: June 03, 2008

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT AND YOU'RE NOT ALONE

Do you know someone whose parents are getting divorced? Are your parents getting divorced or are they divorced? Chances are you can answer yes to one or even both of these questions. Divorce is very common in families today. In fact more than half of the families today are divorced so you are not alone.

Divorce happens when a husband or a wife decide they can't live together any longer and they don't want to be married any more. They agree to sign legal papers that make each of them single again and allow them to marry other people if they want to.

Although it may sound simple divorce can be very upsetting. It's not easy for a husband and a wife to decide to divorce and they are very disappointed that the marriage must end.

Most children don't want their parents to get a divorce and probably feel that they caused it. It's really important to remember that you had nothing to do with the divorce and it's not your fault. But remember, the parents aren't divorcing you, they are divorcing each other.

Sometimes you may have mixed feelings about the divorce. You may be relieved that your parents are getting divorced because you don't have to listen to arguing anymore or see them unhappy. Divorce is upsetting and you need to talk openly to both of your parents. It's normal to feel fear, sadness, and anger or a wide range of other emotions. Your world just fell apart and you need to talk openly about it.

Sometimes you may want to express your feelings in other ways instead of talking if you are really angry. For instance you can punch a pillow, run as fast as you can, or throw a football. It's important though to never take your feelings out on someone else.

Also there are also other people you can talk to such as your school counselor, your minister, your grandparents, teacher, and your neighbor. It's not easy to let your feelings out but it's better than keeping them inside. You can also talk to other kids who have gone through divorce and learn how it affected them and read a book just for kids on divorce.

This is a challenging time for everyone involved. Try to remember that there are lots of kids going through what you are going through. Voicing your concerns and expressing your feelings will help things go smoothly. And who knows, you may be surprised at what the future may hold. Remember it's not your fault and you are not alone!

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