by titus james

Created on: December 14, 2006   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

I'll get right to the point and preface it by saying that these are in no particular order because all of them could very well be #1. *Light bulb comes on* Well, since I am writing this article why not let us rephrase the title a taste: The 10 #1 Things Men Wish Women Knew. Ahhh, much better...here we go!

1. We so dearly wish our women knew we feel the quickest way from point A to B is a straight line which means we like you'all to shoot straight to the point. Say what's on your mind without taking us around the world to get to the next room or even worse, throwing hints. Most endearing men realize that there are exceptions, except for the hints.

1. Sometimes the best conversation involves absolutely no words. Enough said!

1. Most men, not all, eat to live not live to eat and I'm not saying that most women are the opposite but what I am saying is that sometimes it's apropos to eat a sandwich for dinner. No, not a Subway or Quiznos sandwich but something like a fried egg sandwich or a sandwich made just right with the last of whatever meat (meat substitute for me) is left in the fridge. The key word is "apropos". All we ask is that you'all understand this is in the contract.

1. Ladies we wish you knew that men do not go to sleep after sex because we're lazy or selfish, no, it's actually scientific. Peep it! When we ejaculate, our life force (semen which contains millions of little sperms, e.g., life) leaves us in varying amounts but it does indeed leave. In essence, immediately after the male orgasm we are dead for a short period - literally. However, there are many herbal supplements available that do wonders. [Sidebar: There are some men who are lazy bastards that use this science as a crutch...these are the least of us] However, for women, your orgasms occur internally (mostly) and having just one can be like going out to a nice restaurant and ordering chips with sparkling water and a lemon: it's ok, but it's just a start. [Sidebar: For someone out there who may be down on their luck, chips with sparkling water and a lemon might be the answer to their prayers- please read between the lines on this one]

1. When men are watching their favorite show, whatever that may be, then is not the time to rehash the events of the day or talk about something that's (supposedly) very important to you unless it is in some way life-threatening...another 30 minute-to an-hour wait shouldn't make the situation too much worse. I'm a reasonable man, so an exception is in order for

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