by Lisa Dunlop

Created on: April 27, 2008   Last Updated: October 30, 2010

Sometimes when I become startled or upset I send myself back in time. It's never been an issue before, although in the beginning it took some getting used to; I would be in the middle of a daydream and the phone would ring or some person would brutishly infringe on my introspection in one way or another; I would flinch just enough to go back in time a few secondsusually only about three or four. There have been other instances in which I was very sad or angry and the same thing would happen; I would halfway convulse and inadvertently rewind time.

The trick is to act like nothing happened. Other people never notice anyway; they start all over, but I am usually a bit put off because I never know exactly how far back I've gone. I try to just repeat what I think I just said, but it's really embarrassing if I say the wrong thing. In fact, the other day I was talking to a coworker when one of our filing shelves collapsed. The noise was so horrendous I flinched very hard and found that I had gone back at least an hour. I couldn't remember what we had previously been talking about, much less did I know the exact point I had rewound to, and I ended up offending her.

Currently I'm experiencing a bit of a crisis; you see, yesterday something terrible happened, I refuse to say what, and I have gone back several years. The problem is that only my present mind and memories are preserved, so being plopped in the middle of a past self is a complicated business. When I suddenly possessed my twenty-seven year old self, I had to figure out the exact date and try to recall what I had been up to from that point in my life. It may sound silly, but memory is transitory, so recalling the frivolous moments in between the significant events is nearly impossible.

At any rate, trying to remember everything completely stressed me out, and I slipped even further back in time. I took over my fourteen-year-old self, but that only lasted a few seconds because I immediately panicked, so currently I occupy my three-year old self. I'm doing my best to stay calm, but at any moment I will become upset and I'm not sure what will happen if I go much further.

My sweet mother was cooking something in the kitchen when she dropped a baking sheet. I blinked my eyes and when they reopened I was surrounded by stars and planets. I have no body but I am fully conscious. I don't know how far back I have gone, and I don't really care; it's peaceful out in space.

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