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Our family car reeked of french fries, chicken fingers, hamburger grease and a smorgasboard of fast foods. Spilled and sticky soda lined our car upholstery, all a reflection of our typical week of keeping up with the demands of a heavy extracurricular schedule. Drive thru became a part of our regiment and practically snuffed out our homemade family mealtimes.

But how adorable Katie looked in her ballet leotard and tights. Tapping her heart out at the age of two. Julliard would be lucky to have her. And Kevin swung a bat like no other kid at his age. Even Babe Ruth would have been proud. And Richie could shoot hoops like a pro. Wilt Chamberlin would approve. These experiences were priceless. We wouldn't trade them for the world. Our children were learning new skills, making new friends and becoming more well rounded individuals. And all before entering elementary school. As for a not-so-balanced diet and falling into bed exhausted before getting a bedtime story, I would say it was worth it.

But then academia set in. Homework became a daily requirement. And a full night's sleep a necessity. And a time to eat healthy and reflect about the days events around our kitchen table became a must. Reverse bedtime stories (when our kids read to us) were a treat. There never seemed to be enough quality hours in the day. And I'll never forget the time Katie asked me how old she had to be before she was allowed to quit gymnastics. I said "how old are you at this very moment?" She replied "8 years old." I replied "8 years old is when you can quit." The relief was profound for both of us. And that is when I realized that my kids own the steering wheel to what drives them.

Although it is great to expose your children to those extracurricular activity opportunites, it is most important not to over program them. As our kids grow, there is plenty of pressure on them to accomplish tasks that they have no choice but to undertake. On the other hand, extracurricular activities should come by choice. They should be pleasurable and a compliment to our kids' already busy lives. They should serve as a stress reducer and not a cause for stress.

At present, Katie has traded in her ballet tights and tap shoes for hip hugger jeans and a pair of flip flops. Kevin prefers running in 5K races to running the bases. Richie isn't playing pro basketball and traveling across the country. He is however running cross country.
They have managed to balance school work, extracurricular activities and home life like true champions. As their mom and part time chaffeur, my kids know who drives them. But most importantly, without any help from me, they have determined what drives them. And fortunately they are following their individual compasses.

Learn more about this author, Jayne Bonilla.
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