by Katherine Barnfield

Created on: April 27, 2008

Ten tips for the first date

Meet somewhere familiar to you, preferably where you are well known. Not only will you feel more comfortable, but a guy is less likely to cause you a problem if he knows you have back-up.

Be yourself. If your date end up as a partner he will eventually uncover any lies, and this could mean the end of a relationship. There is no point in pretending to be someone you are not to attract someone. You need to find out if they like the real you. If you are feeling unsure about telling him something, don't tell him.

Let someone know you are going on the date. It is a good idea to arrange to let a friend know after-wards how it went that way someone is expecting to hear from you and would raise the alarm should the worst happen.

Don't dress like a tart. It is just asking for trouble. You can be sexy and attractive without showing off loads of flesh and wearing heels you cannot walk in. Men are usually (though sadly not always) more likely to respect you if you respect yourself. This is not to say it's OK for a man to expect anything or treat you badly if you wear a short skirt. However people in general will tend to treat you in the way you portray yourself.

Make your own arrangements for getting home. If he turns out to be a psycho you don't want him walking you to your front door. Besides, I think the best men would be attracted rather than out off by a woman who is independent and makes her own arrangements.

Carry a mobile phone so you can contact someone if you need to.

Let him know you have either a protective older brother or a black belt in karate! There is no need to threaten him, but you don't need to be a silly weak female to attract a man. The only people attracted by weakness are bullies.

Don't drink too much. It may be a tempting way to tackle first date nerves, but a drunken woman is not a pretty sight. There is a certain type of man who prefers women to be drunk, but this is not the type you want to get involved with. It is fine to drink, it is not fine to start slurring your words and falling over.

Do not make excuses on the man's behalf for unacceptable statements or behavior. If any of the following transpires during your conversation with him, leave. Any previous violence towards women ( they do not change), drunkenness (they don't change either) or any clear signs of mental instability ( they only chance after treatment). Remember that like you, he will be showing his best side on a first date, so if there is anything you really don't like, it is not going to get better.

Don't tell him your life history, your address, and give him your pin number! Remember that however attracted you are to this man he is essentially a stranger. Don't give him any information you wouldn't be happy to see posted up in the middle of the street.

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