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There is indeed a special bond that exists for a woman, in dating an older man.

I've felt it, I've seen it. Over and over again, throughout my life. I agree with what I've seen women posting about this; that if you don't believe it, or haven't yet to experience it, you really should check it out.

The problem with that is that it sounds to some women, to be demeaning. But it really isn't at all. That it is in some way, "bad", or shows you have "poor character" or whatever, is a social myth. A societal judgment that has no place in this world any longer. That is a way of thinking that itself is old fashioned. A social viewpoint that developed in the early 20th century out of an abhorrence of the Victorian Age, and a side issue of the 1960's Womens' Movement. And really, it just needs to be let go. Although I don't think it is something we should push for in a society, I do think that a woman should be free to live her life as she finds makes her feel the most self-actualized. Now that may sound like an oxymoron, but really, it is in no way. If something deep inside a woman, makes her feel fulfilled in someway in her relationship with an older guy, relax, its OK.

I think we still inadvertently raise girls to feel a need for this kind of relationship. Not all girls to be sure, but many. To be or feel protected by someone who is older, stronger, and with more experience, sounds comforting. But I can also see how it sounds like giving up, not pulling your own weight, not being independent. But if you think about it, that in itself, is just another negative example of the Protestant Work Ethic once again, gone awry.

As for guys on the other hand, they are more likely to be raised to be that guy who is older, stronger and having more experience. And so in being a guy, admittedly, I can only speak for myself on this subject. I do however, have some experience on this and so here is what I've learned and how I learned it.

I started my Life relationships at an equal in years with a woman. In the end, I found myself far from that. I speak here from the perspective of having dated a younger woman for most of my life. For some reasons, and I swear I didn't look for it, that disparate span of years grew over time. I did, in fact, nearly walk away from my last relationship when I discovered what our span of years was; something that I considered doing each time it came up. But we had such an attraction, that I think it was too strong for both of us and it led to our ten years together.

My

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