by Margaret Hudson

Created on: April 27, 2008

What are we teaching our children? Coed sleepovers? Just what age do you want to be a grandparent? This is a disaster in the making. I know all the arguments for this - that if it is supervised it should be okay. That falls in the same category that it's okay to let your underage child have a drink as long as you supervise. The problem is that there are so many parents out there who don't really know what supervision is. I have three kids, the youngest of which is 14. About two months ago, two children at his school were suspended for having sex in the gym - DURING SCHOOL! One was in the 8th grade, one in the 7th. This is at a school where there are how many adults "supervising"? What makes any one person think they can supervise teens? Remember back to when you were a teen yourself. I know a coed sleepover would have been like giving me the keys to the city! I can remember at parties we had as teens that for a while the big thing was a 'kissing contest' to see which 'couple' could kiss the longest while comedy albums played in the background. Innocent fun, huh? The couple who always won at all our parties became parents for the first time when he was 17 and she was 15. And these were supervised parties, with at least 4 or 5 adults present.

As parents, our children become our responsibility the day we get pregnant with them, and ends when they turn 18. Then, we are still their parents but they are responsible for their own actions after the age of 18. Before they attain that glorious age, we are responsible for what they do, and for their welfare. It's a daunting task, and although I know you can't be with them every second, it is not part of parenting to hand them a loaded gun and ask them not to use it to see if they will listen or not. Giving them the opportunity for a coed sleepover is the same principle - and a caring parent will give a loving but firm no. Not only that, but the child of a responsible parent, who has been raised with their moral and ethical values well instilled, will never ask to have or be included in a coed sleepover.

It is up to us, as parents, to assure that our children (and they are our children until they are 18) learn that they are responsible for their actions, that their actions have consequences, and the best way to avoid negative consequences is to avoid negative actions. This is a responsibility we cannot delegate, but one that we shoulder when we make the decision to bring a child into this world. If we are not willing to take this responsibility, we should not choose to be parents. Period.

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