by L. Merlino

Created on: April 27, 2008

Young enough to shop the children's clothing racks - old enough to have "adult" taste in trend and styles. Much to parents' chagrin, clothing designers cater more to the precociousness of the "tween" market rather than the sensibility of their parents.

What? You let your budding superstar loose in the mall, with enough "allowance" in her pocket to "shop till she drops"? You really should've chaperoned the spree ... an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

If one has a sense of humor, it doesn't matter much - so what if your fifth grader looks like a pint-sized Jean Harlow - or was that "harlot"? No offense to the sirens of the silver screen or the rock stars that mimic them, but let's face it - they were mature adults (hopefully) when they took on the look to kill; and you can bet, they didn't shop at Kids"R"Us, much less Toys"R"Us ... well, at least not Ms. Harlow. Britney and Madonna may be another story though.

You COULD be proactive and do the shopping first - your way or no way! But then, how would your little princess learn independence, and the fine art of putting a sensible ensemble together - of her own volition? Who said it would be easy shopping for a prepubescent fashion victim?

When your 9-12 year-old hotshot begins to resemble Dita Von Tease or Marilyn Manson (not Monroe!) it's time to purchase some Simplicity Patterns and dust off the old Singer sewing machine; you may need to do some "designing" of your own.

Your best bet is to go shopping with her - make it a mother-daughter "occasion", followed by "tea" at the Plaza (or at least the Food Court). Something she can look forward to and feel all grown up about even if you are tagging along.

Don't cramp her style - if her girlfriends are shopping in the same store, stay 10 paces behind her ... discretely in the shadows, so she can save face; let her make a few selections off the racks, but have the final say as to what you're willing to pay TAX on.

Yes, tax is your bargaining chip. Kids do not like to pay tax. Be sure you've got the magic amount of spare change in your purse or wallet - something "just over the top" of her allotted pin money. Little darling in pink is sure to come running to you before approaching the check-out counter - and THERE's where you can assert a thing or two about what outfits actually get purchased. Save the lecturing about the feather boa and sequined micro-mini for later.

Now, of course, you don't want your daughter looking like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz either. It may be a sensible, classic look; but she does have a reputation to uphold amongst her peers - yes, be a sport. Allow her a tad of glitz if that's what she wants. Maybe a sequined hair barrette or funky hat. MAYBE then, she'll concede to wear those sensible, classic culottes you've picked out - with the chocolate-brown blazer and J. Crew polo top.

One day, she'll thank you for sharing your fashion expertise AND allowing her to indulge her fantasies - just a tad; and for paying the tax. After a productive shopping excursion, you can settle down to some tea and crumpets (offer to leave the tip) - or a well-earned McMeal and a Coke.

Shopping with your preteen girl can be fun after all; but it pays to have a bargaining chip.

Learn more about this author, L. Merlino.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.