by Erin Kathleen

Created on: April 27, 2008   Last Updated: October 29, 2011

The Little Asian Woman

No matter who you are, there will come a time in your life where you feel like giving up. A time when you feel like the whole world must just be against you. For most people, however, that time passes. The clouds break and some light finally starts to shine through. I have had several of those times in my life, but one specific piece of my history has changed my views and attitude completely. This wasn't just one of those especially hard times in my adult life. It was more than that. It was the one moment I needed in order to open my eyes and see the world in a whole new way. That moment came on the day I met the little Asian woman. Let me start at the beginning.

I was an eighteen year old mother of a precious little girl. She was my life and she never left my side. In her one year of life, I had never spent even ten minutes away from her. I went from being this boy-hungry, partying teenager, to the greatest mother in the world (at least, that's the way I saw it). Then one day, my whole world decided it was going to change on me. I found out I was pregnant again. I was devastated. This was going to change everything. Yeah, one kid I could handle. But two? We barely scraped by as it was. This was the end of my worldor so I thought. When I was around seven months pregnant, the doctor told me that the baby had some problems. Without getting into too much detail, she was going to need surgery after she was born to deal with some kidney issues. It wasn't until then that I realized how much I actually wanted this new little girl in my life. I was horrified. I spent the remainder of my pregnancy worrying about how I was going to deal with letting the doctors do such terrible things to my poor baby girl. This just wasn't fair. Someone must have something against me.

Just after little Kayleigh was born, tests were run. Together, we decided that we would wait on the surgery until she was four months old. This would give her time to get bigger and healthier. But, of course, it didn't work out that way. At a month old, an emergency surgery had to be done. We rushed her to the Children's hospital a couple of hours away. In the two hours before they took her off to the operating room, all I could do was stare at her little face. She looked perfect. How could she be so sick when she looked so happy? I squeezed onto her little hand as the nurse tried to take her away, praying that God would cut me a break this one time. But no, she had to go. Eight hours

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