Blue Jean Queen and Her Court
It was fifteen years, three months, and two days when I first saw these rolling green hills. I remember it distinctly because I was in awe of them, the spring rains had turned them the brightest shade of green. They were covered with what seemed like almost rows of yellow daffodils. It looked like a giant, sweet watermelon. The smell of it all was almost too much to bear .I smile each time I remember seeing the hills the first time. I thought, finally, a fresh start. A clean slate.
The only differences are the hills haven't had any rain, and they're a burnt shade of golden brown. They kind of go with her mood. Instead of being full of hope and joy, she's full of confusion. There's a small child inside her throwing a tantrum jumping up and down yelling " I don't want to go! I don't want to!"
Well, I decide it's time to grow up, get over the pity party, and see what the highway has to offer. Everyone needs a fresh start from time to time, whether they want it or not. It's like a flu shot. You don't like it, but it could be good for you.
Damn! I better get my mind back on the road. The traffic is picking up. It's not like I have an appointment to rush to, I think I'll just pull into Mama Joan's Caf and get some breakfast. I figure if I waste enough time the great decider will drop a sign on top of my head.
The aroma of bacon drifts across the parking lot like a thick fog. When I open the door there's no question what I want. Question is what to go with it? I'd better decide fast, because that smell reminded me real quick that I've been too upset to eat for two days.
I finally settle for bacon, eggs over easy, hash browns and pancakes. I'm going to end up making myself sick, because that's too much to attack after going without that long. Oh, well, I can't decide, and I'm HUNGRY.
I drink a cup of coffee while I wait and try to concentrate on what I'm going to do, and how I'm going to do it. While my mind's drifting off into Never land a teenage boy approaches me and asks me if he can sit down. I figure since I'm at the counter, not a booth, why should I care? Even in my mindless state, I do notice how odd it is these days for a teenager to have the manners to ask. I tell him to make himself comfortable. I notice his brown eyes just about ready to close. I don't get the impression it's not from getting up too early, it's from not sleeping at all. From the looks of him, its been a while. He doesn't look like the type that's partying too much. Let me rephrase that. He dresses like the type. Long hair, holy jeans, tye-dyed shirt. His face just doesn't look like he's seen that side of life. He has a clean, almost innocent look about him.
When he doesn't think I'm looking , he digs in his pocket and counts his money. He comes up with $1.27. I can see he's trying to get the fullest stomach for the least money. Even I know it ain't happening for $ 1.27. I call the waitress over and explain I've ordered too much food. She said she can't do anything about it, because it's ready. I try to look helpless, and ask the boy if he would please take part of it because I hate to waste food. He sees that's probably true since I'm really thin. He still hesitates. He does have his pride. It's probably all he has. He finally relents as I push my pancakes, half my bacon, and my hash browns over. Even though he's trying to look nonchalant, his hunger gets the best of him. I feel sorry for any fly between his mouth and that plate. Between bites he tells me his name's Arthur, but his friends call him Jim. I don't get it. Anyway, since I just fed him, I must be a friend. I tell him my name's Jean, and my friends call me Jean. "That's good, but, I'm going to call you Blue" Okay, fine by me. Better than Denim, I guess.
Jim and I get to talking. He tells me he's 17. I act like I believe him for now. A lot of people look younger than they are. I resist telling him I'm 54.
The main reason I don't believe Jim is 17 is he doesn't look at me like 17 year olds look at me. I'm not being vain. Just honest. I'm 32, 5' 8", 125 pounds. I have long dark hair and green eyes. Most 17 year olds act , and unfortunately talk like walking hormones when I'm around, which they are. Jim acts like I'm a sister or an aunt. This makes me think he's about 15.
I ask him what he's doing up so early in the summer. He says he's headed to Owensville on the other side of the hills. He said he needs to get a job to help out at home. This isn't too uncommon. A lot of people go there for the jobs. It's kind of a far commute for a kid, though. It's 94 miles away. That's why most of the people in town are retirees or families that one parent will work during the week, and come home on weekends.
Owensville's too big for most people. Besides, the scenery here's amazing. Aside from the hills that I love, there's a gorgeous blue lake complete with tire swing. Right out of a Norman Rockwell painting. Kind of explains the name Shangri-la. Anyway, I decide to tell Jim I'm going to Owensville myself if he wants a ride. He acts kind of leery. After all, I'm still a stranger. I think quick, for a change, and say I wouldn't mind having some company and protection. He asks how I know I can trust him. I say I just have a feeling.
By now it's 8:30, and traffic's thinning out considerably. I pay the bill while he goes to the bathroom. When I get done I notice he left his $1.27 I think the great decider just dumped a kid on my head. Well, that's interesting. I would have settled for a bag of money instead of a broke kid. But, what do I kow?
as a tip. He was embarrassed. Now I know his pride is all he has left. I just hope that's enough for the kid. I already feel for him. Here I am feeling sorry for myself, and this kid's a lot worse off, and emotionally more mature.
Before we leave I tell him we need to have a talk. He looks extremely apprehensive. I wait until we're by the car and I ask him to level with me. I explain I really don't think he's 17, and I don't want to get arrested for transporting a minor, a runaway, or kidnaping, etc. He looks ready to fall over. He says he was getting ready to tell me the truth anyway. He admits to being 15. "But, Blue, I swear I'm not a runaway. I would never leave my parents. Or I wouldn't have, anyway."
Now I have a sick feeling. I think I know what's coming. I decide to let him tell his story at his pace. "About three months ago my mom and dad went to get my birthday present. My birthday was May 5th. Anyway, while they were gone there was this fire across the road from our house. When they came home there were fire trucks everywhere. When they didn't see me they got worried. Anyway, they were crossing the road looking for me. Right then a fire truck came barreling down the road. There was nothing anybody could have done. There wasn't much for the ambulance to pick up." We both got quiet for a while. I remember the story when I came to town. "Young couple die looking for son"
Jim started again. "Anyway, the city paid my aunt a big settlement right away. I'm supposed to be living with her now. She's got six kids though. She gave me half and told me to get lost. That night when I cut out I got knocked over the head and they took all but $100. Weird, huh?" I agree that it's weird robbery. I decide on the spot. "Let's go, Jim. We're wasting time." We get in my 76 Nova and head out. My car spits and sputters when it first starts going. Jim looks at me with an unsure look
on his face. I assure him it's just the car's personality. He shrugs his shoulders and says "Sounds like a death wish to me". Our laughter breaks the tension as we sputter off.
After about 5 miles we're at the part of the road that's at the very top of the top of the hills. There's a place to pull over and look at the scenery. They even have one of those machines you put a quarter in to look. I decided to pull over. Like I said, I'm in no hurry. "Let's take a last look, Jim" I say as I get out of the car. I go lean against the rail for awhile. We both seem lost in our own thoughts. Finally, I say"I'm ready if you are."
We get back in the car and head out. After awhile of uncomfortable silence Jim says " Blue, what's your story? I'll understand if you don't want to tell some kid, but I can tell you don't want to leave. That's part of the reason I called you Blue. Not just because of blue jeans, but you looked so Blue I thought you were going to melt.
I looked at him out of the side of my eye and figured, what the hell? "You're right, Jim, I don't want to leave this valley. I first got here fifteen years ago. On the day you were born, as a matter of fact. How odd. Anyway, my kid brother, also named Jimmy, had just gotten killed by a drunk driver on a motorcycle I got him as an early birthday present.
All of a sudden I threw on the brakes and skidded off the road. Jim looked like I lost my mind. I was pretty sure I had. I grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him half to death. "Jim! Do you know what this means?" "You're going to scramble my brains until I guess?" I calmed down then. "I'm sorry kid, it's just this is amazing. My little brother Jimmy would have been 18 on the day you were born. The day I showed up here. Now here we are put together by fate, karma, whatever, it blows
me away" Jim thought about it for awhile. While he thought it was pretty neat, too, it kind of scared him. He didn't tell Blue, though. She seemed pretty hyped. "Anyway," she continued "my mom had died of pneumonia a long time ago, and we never did know our dad. So the only family I have is a friend named Jane and a kid named Jim. I guess I'm into J's, huh?
Well, I'm getting way off the story. We lived in a town called Smythe about 600 miles from here. I drove and drove until I hit Shangri-la. It was so beautiful I knew I wanted to stay here. I got a job at a daycare place because I like kids. Hell, I probably took care of you when you were a little turd. I've been extremely happy here. I've grown up here. Literally. As for why I'm leaving. I found out one of the prominent businessmen in town was having an affair with one of her former students. The girl's only 14. I really don't consider it an affair. He seduced her with tricks and compliments that a 14 year old doesn't understand. He got her to believe he loved her, then when she didn't want to have sex with him, he threatened to rape her little sister. So she came to me to have someone to talk to. It's been going on a few months. I got very angry and told him I'd tell his wife and business partners if he didn't leave her and the other little girls alone.
Going to him alone was a stupid move. He started denying it, but finally admitted it, but said there was nothing I could do about it. And if I tried he'd see to it I was sorry for it. Well, the girl moved away with her family.
A couple weeks ago my apartment got broke into, everything destroyed. All of a sudden the day care didn't need me. Neither did anyone else. He made sure there was nothing for me to do but leave. I hate admitting defeat, I hate letting the bad guy win, I hate leaving my town. He hasn't
actually won, though. In the back floorboard is a portable safe. In it are letters to the police chief in Owensville, the D.A., all the prominent people in Owensville, and his wife. Oh, yeah the little girl's father, who used to be a middle weight fighter. There are transcripts and taped conversations we had. Maybe I can't stay, but somebody will believe me.
Jim sits real quiet for a minute. He sits still so long I start to get worried. Finally, she can't take it anymore she asks "Jim, what's wrong? Don't you believe me either? You wouldn't be the first." He takes a deep breath. "I believe you, Blue. That's the problem. That businessman is my uncle" "Holy Shit!" was all I could think of to say. So I say it over and and over again. What I would not give for a drink right now. No matter how early it is. I look at Jim from the corner of my eye and ask if he wants me to let him out. I figure he might blame me for the trouble in his family. He assures me he doesn't want out. He didn't
like that uncle, anyway. We drive for awhile in complete silence.
By the time we were coming out of Never Never Land I see Owensville ahead. I ask Jim if he'd like to stop and get a paper at a cafeteria and formulate their next plan. He hem hawed and I remembered he's broke. Damn!
"Jim, I know you're broke and you have your pride, but I'm not going to sit in a diner having a cold soda while you sit in a hot car. So come on!" He gets out of the car when we pull up to a greasy spoon. Which are secretly my favorite places for hamburgers and fries. He's busy looking like a whipped pup. I instantly feel like a heel so I ruffle his hair and put him in a playful headlock. That crazy smile of his lights up his face and his eyes twinkle. All is right with the world again. God! I'd forgotten how oversensitive teenage boys are.
We grab a paper out of the machine in front of the diner. We go in and I order coffee. Breakfast is still sitting heavy on my stomach that I'm not hungry. I don't think Jim has that problem, though. So I ask him what kind of pie he wants. I remind him I'm keeping a running tab. He agrees that's a good thought. He orders an apple pie, strawberry shake, and a hamburger as an afterthought. Man, can that kid eat!
We decide to go to work on the want ads. I have enough left from my savings to get a cheap place and live for a month or two. That is if I go out and steel a herd of cattle, just to feed the boy. While he's reading the want ads, I hit the apartment/houses for rent. I made a list. Then I looked at the want ads. Luckily, there's a lot of day care and teacher aide jobs. I figured with the factories here I'd be okay on that. I glance at Jim's list while he's in the restroom. Well, the kid's being sensible. He's got everything listed from gas stations to burger joints to janitor.
I suggest we hit the apartment list first. I explain the reason I want to make the move on a Friday is to have a couple of days to get settled in before we go job hunting Monday. Jim looks lost for a minute, then says "Am I staying with you, Blue?" "I'm sorry, Jim, I forgot to ask. Would you mind staying with me for awhile? I'll get a one bedroom with a hide-a-bed if I have to, but there are some two bedrooms here that are pretty cheap. I could use someone for protection and company. Besides, after you get a job you can help with bills. See, it would help both of us." He gives me that stupid grin and agrees.
We go apartment hunting. The first two are complete rat holes. The third one, though, is a find. It's a house. Definite plus. The landlord is willing to take $5 per hour off rent for us working on it. Boy, does it need work!
We won't be bored. It really is cute, though. It's a two bedroom cottage. The bedrooms are small, but the living room's large. It has a nice old claw foot bathtub. Man, I love those! I give the guy first and last and deposit. It comes to $500. Mr. Jones, the landlord, agrees to buy some paint and wallpaper for us to start fixing it up. He also said he'd pick up some caulk for the widows and a couple of ceiling fans.
I put Jim to cleaning the stove and fridge with some cleaning supplies I had. While he did that I went grocery shopping. I decide to get a lot for a little. The quality of the meat may not be great, but I've got a big appetite to feed. We're also going to live on a lot of peanut butter. Along with hot dogs, tuna, and pasta salads. I get a big bag of potatoes. There's a lot you can do with potatoes. I get Jim some treats, too. Off brand cream cakes, off brand this and that.
When I get home the place is spotless. I like clean. I'm just not that good at doing it. This boy is going to come in handy.
While we're eating dinner I bring up something I've been thinking about since the idea of us staying together came up. "Jim we need to face the fact that you're a minor. I need to get hold of your aunt and get some kind of agreement made up." He immediately gets the wrong idea. "What kind of agreement" "Calm down, big boy. Calm down! What happens if you get sick or hurt? What happens if you need a form signed by a parent or guardian? It would sure help if she would sign over guardianship or a note giving me permission to take care of you or something." "Gee, I didn't think of that, Blue. She shouldn't mind she's got all my money.""That's another thing, Jim, you need to let her know you're giving the social security office a change of address card.
Because of your parents' death you're due a monthly check.
We need to get you into school first. Don't argue. You're too young to quit, anyway. Another reason a part time job and that SSI check will bring in more than a full time job, anyway. I can see Jim reluctantly agrees with that. He has to give it a last ditch effort, though. I feel it coming. I can see the smoke coming from his ears as the wheels turn. "What if I do day labor. My dad used to do that. They don't ask any questions, and they pay pretty good, too." Well, that's pretty hard to shoot down. I was afraid he'd come up with a good one. "Jim, that's basically not a bad idea except a few things. Number one: remember the people that got killed doing that last year? Number two: Hell no! Do you know how long it took me to find a teen-age boy to feed? I had to hunt months and months.""Damn, Blue, I thought you were serious for a minute. You looked so serious. I guess you're right, though. I just
His sentence went unfinished, because just then we hear a loud crash from outside. We go running out. There, looking sadder than anything I've seen in a long time, is my Nova, or what's left of it. It's totally trashed. It looks like an accordion. Somebody has hit it and rammed it into a tree. I can't take it. This is more than a car. It represents the last remnants of my family.
Jim looks back and forth between me and the car. I guess I look like I feel. Everybody has their breaking point. I think I've finally found mine. I held on through all the stuff I'd been through out of pure anger. Jim made starting over not scary, because I had someone to take care of . I guess this was too much. I sit on the curb and start bawling like a baby. Jim sits with me and holds me. He may be in control, but it feels good to have someone else in control for a change. I guess a crowd had
developed, because all of a sudden we were surrounded. Some people were comforting me, others were running back and forth trying to find out who did it. Some were checking us out. I realize they think we were in the car when it hit. I hurry to assure them we weren't.
The police showed up to try to restore some order to the place. After what seemed like hours all they found out was that someone saw taillights from a full sized dark colored Ford pickup. They take all my information and say they'll call me tomorrow with anymore questions or information they may have.
I decide sitting on the curb is really good for a while. I'm completely wiped out. I looked at Jim. For the first time since he's known me I've broken down. He looks completely empty is the only word I can think of. He's still sitting there with his arm around me so I give him a elbow to the ribs and a half smiled when he looks over. We're back to normal now. "C'mon kid, let's get situated"