by R Shimoda

Created on: April 27, 2008

Unkind comments? What unkind comments? Isn't is nice of strangers to tell you things about your children? I'm sure that having a child who doesn't like to turns letting other kids use the swings has escaped your notice for 10 years and those who comment on it, are only trying to help. Helpful observations like "Gee, your son really hogs that swing" or "Doesn't your son have any manners?" I'm sure are only made with the noblest of intentions. Right.

I have seen this happen many, many times and go out of my way not to do it to other parents. The chances are than unless they're complete idiots, they have a pretty good idea there's something wrong with their child and the odds are they're already taking steps to correct the situation.

Having a son with a mild case of autism or Asperger's Syndrome, it has been a struggle. He tends to be introverted and doesn't play well with other kids. He likes routine and doesn't handle change in his environment very well. We've had him visit a child psychologist for the past year or so and his temper tantrums don't occur as often. We're hoping in time he will be able to control his temper and adapt to changes better.

Unlike most children with special needs, he has no physical characteristics to differentiate him from other kids. It's just the way he behaves that is different. Having strangers comment on how my son seems to be selfish or out of control, results in an explanation of his mental condition and what is being done to correct it.

The usual reaction is an embarrassed apology and they quickly stand up then move away. It is something my wife and I have gotten use to but like a farmer friend of mine once said "I'll use manure as a fertilizer if I have to but no one's going to make me say it smells good." We try to look at these experience in a positive fashion in that although untactful, these strangers do mean well.

So next time you feel a need to tell a parent there's something wrong with their child, stop a moment to consider that perhaps they know and are trying to correct it. Your rude comment may be result in you being embarrassed instead.

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