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Real friends. That is the operative phrase. There are acquaintances and then there are real friends. Some confuse one for the other, but when it comes down to knowing who would stick closer than your own brother or sister, than that's the one who earns the title of "real friend."

Real friends, as opposed to acquaintances, know your quirky habits and shortcomings, yet still accept you for who you are and are willing to spend time with you.

People you know from work or school are simply just that unless you spend a significant amount of time with them outside of work or school. This is when they "graduate" from "acquaintance" to "close acquaintance." Those people then become friends when you find yourself in tough situations and they pull through for you with flying colors. They are the ones willing to let you borrow money and are patient with you when it comes time to paying them back. They know how to listen to you, offer moral support and give thoughtful, genuine advice when you're going through a rough time. They'll even let you crash on the couch or spend the night in their guest room for at least a week if you're going through a tough time at home. These close acquaintances are people whom you share more with than just lunch on occasion, or beer at the bar during happy hour.

If you're like most people, you, too, have few real friends. This is because in general, most people are self-absorbed. They don't want to get involved with other people's problems, thus, get involved with their lives. They just want to go to work, come home, have a few laughs with other people, then go on with their routine. It takes time to invest in other people - to make yourself vulnerable and transparent; share your feelings with others; and allow others to do the same in return.

There are only a few people in our lives with whom we allow ourselves to be transparent. It is those people who sometimes return the favor, thus, creating a mutual bond of trust and respect. This is where a true friendship is conceived. It takes time to conceive a true friendship; it takes more time to maintain it. While most people can conceive true friendships, very few have the time or desire to maintain those friendships through time and distance. This is the test of true friendships. If you're one of those people who invest in others, are not afraid of vulnerability and do not think you're better than others, then you have the qualities of being a real friend. You must first learn to be a real friend before you can learn how to make and keep real friends. If you can master that quality, then you're well on your way to having a fulfilled life with real friends - not mere acquaintances.

Learn more about this author, Esther Dacanay.
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