by Blue Vespa

Created on: April 27, 2008   Last Updated: January 19, 2009

I really don't understand why marriage is considered a sacred institution. Even in a church it really is a civil ceremony all dressed up. People swear their love before God, their family and friends and I respect the will and choice of those who so participate. However, over 50% of these unions end up in divorce. Many more are cruel arrangements. So what happens to the part about until death us do part, in sickness and in health, for rich or for poor? Isn't that the sacred promise?

I am the oldest of five children. My parents divorced several times. My grandparents on both sides were divorced. My siblings all divorced except for my youngest brother who has never married. My mother was pregnant at my wedding with this boy. My stepfather "gave me away" and they, too, divorced about 14 years later.

I've been married for 40 years. Nothing really planned in life but it has all worked out so far. We met at fifteen, started dating on my 16th birthday. We went steady, got engaged on Valentine's Day, married in June and had a wonderful son two years later. We're not the same people we were when we met but some thread has tied us together. We care about each other. There is no other person we choose to be with. Other people fill little pieces of our lives but the whole belongs to us. We are not an institution.

Now, why wouldn't any reasonable person wish this same experience for others? My youngest brother is gay. He is a wonderful person. He cares for others, works hard, is fun and gets lonely. He has lots of good friends but has yet to find that special person. I hope when he does, he has the opportunity to tie himself by his heartstrings to this person and lead a joyful life.

I know there are all kinds of legal and sensible reasons to allow civil unions. But any two people that are willing to declare themselves to each other before God, their family and friends should be recognized for establishing a sacred promise that they should strive to keep for as long as they both shall live. Defining this union is not important. As I've said before, it's the promise that should be sacred.

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