by Al Dudex

Created on: April 27, 2008

1)

A policeman stops a car and says to the driver:
"Congratulations! You are the 1000th car to pass this freeway.
As a reward, you will receive 10,000 dollars!"

The driver responds: "Excellent! That will be just enough for my driver's license."

The woman next to the driver adds: "Don't listen to him, officer. He
doesn't know what he is talking about when he's drunk."

The passenger behind them then says: "Darn. I knew we wouldn't reach far with a stolen car."
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2)

Little ol' lady is cruising down the freeway at 90 MPH when she is suddenly pulled over by a good ol' Florida Highway Patrol officer.

"What's the rush?" asks the officer.

"I'm in a hurry to get to the lake...I need to dispose of the gun that I have in the glove compartment!"

"A GUN?"

"Yes...I used it to shoot my husband!"

"Where is your husband?"

"In the trunk!"

"Wait right here, ma'am!"

The officer walks back and calls for immediate back-up. A Highway Patrol supervisor is the first to arrive. The two officers confer and the supervisor approached the driver.

"My officer says you have a gun in your vehicle, ma'am..."

"Yes officer, I know. He was acting very strange. I have no gun!"

"What about a body in the trunk?"

The little ol' lady climbed out of her little car and allowed the officers to search her car, including the trunk...no gun...no body....

The little ol' lady asked the supervisor...

"Why did that officer say those mean things about me? I suppose he said I was speeding too, huh?"
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3)

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blond behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blond yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
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4)

80,000 blonds are gathered for a "Blonds Are Not Stupid" convention. The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blonds are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"
A blond gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "18!" Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then, 80,000 blonds start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" The leader says, "Well, since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance."
So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "90?" The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone is disheartened. The blond starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good, eventually says, "OK! OK! Just one more chance. What is 2 plus 2?" The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "4?". Throughout the stadium, pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream ... Give her another chance! Give her another chance!

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