by Nan Keltie

Created on: April 27, 2008

If you got the last two pickled-pig feet,
That were being sold by Grocer Drew,
Then you have just helped to rescue,
Piggy toes from the bottom of the barrel.

If you've stopped by to pump some gas,
And the prices keep soaring sky-high,
Squeeze out that last drop, and here's why:
Gas is "lower" at the bottom of the barrel.

If you donate your old blue jeans,
And you go out to shop for more.
Somewhere at a local thrift store,
Your jeans are at the bottom of the barrel.

If you've already sacked up your trash,
And met the big truck by the street,
But you've tossed a coupon for meat,
Too late - it's at the bottom of the barrel.

If you know our government's failed,
When Congress keeps feeding on "pork,"
For projects that don't even work?
Slap those hands at the bottom of the barrel!

If you're out hunting in Tennessee,
And come across old whiskey stills,
There are rev'noors up in them hills!
Don't indulge at the bottom of the barrel.

If rating all these contest poems
On Helium takes too much time,
I'll thank you to please rescue mine.
Or it drops to the bottom of the barrel.

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