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parents begin saving for their children's Prom night well before they begin accumulating college funds. It is not uncommon for these parents to still be paying off their own Prom Loans, as the cost of Prom has exponentially grown over the past 30 years. This, coupled with student loans for college, is almost solely responsible for the problematic debt found in most Prom-holding countries.

Attendance to Prom is compulsory and failure to find a date can result in criminal prosecution, age notwithstanding. This comes from a decision handed down in the Lipshitz v. McClusky trial when the 17-year-old female defendant decided, in opposition to her previous agreement to attend the dance with the 15-year-old male plaintiff, to stay home and "you know, just do some reading and maybe watch The Bachelor that I TiVo'd." The defendant, so distraught at going to the dance sans partner, stood on the darkened dance floor and, with a number of guns he purchased at one of the town's Wal-Marts, killed over 400 dancers and twenty high school teachers. Three DJs also lost their lives, but no one really minded.

The "Senior" Prom is so referred as all attendees must present proof of either a 401k withdraw check or Social Security retirement check stub. It is a common misconception that the Senior Prom is for high school seniors. It is interesting to note that, due to many seniors' hair color, blue dresses and tuxedos are discouraged, as it would simply look, as Oscar Wilde put it, "Tacky." Likewise, the "Junior" Prom is only open to attendees under the age of six, but as they normally lack drivers licenses (Texas being the one exception), the attendance tends to be on the low side.

Prom, for all its faults, is remembered by most adults as the highlight of their adolescent lives. Nothing ever goes wrong, everyone has a date they love, no one ever goes home alone and the music is always good. As a safeguard to retain Prom's position as the most wonderful night of teenagers' lives, a group has recently formed in the southern United States called "Prom: Understanding Kids' Excitement" or PUKE. They have charged themselves with the task of bringing Prom (and Prom mentality) to every corner of the world that has not experienced the wonderment of this most unique of nights.

Learn more about this author, R. Michael Straight.
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