by Katherine Barnfield

Created on: April 26, 2008   Last Updated: December 11, 2010

Most facebook 'friends' are people with whom you will have no actual contact whatsoever. They are not going to pop around to your house for a cup of tea, join you in the pub for a few drinks, or attend your wedding. You will almost certainly never meet.

Some facebook friends are people that you also know in real life, and have become facebook friends as well, some are people you once saw regularly but now only contact via facebook, and others are only face book friends. The first group are friends regardless of facebook - it is just one more way to communicate with them.The second group,iot has to be remembered, stopped seeing you for a reason ( or you stopped seeing them). These are the friendships that can sometimes seem pointless - if you don't wish to see each other anymore then why be 'facebook friends'? However where people have been separated due to, for example one moving away, networks such as Facebook can be a valuable way of prolonging the friendship.

Some would say the last group are valueless, fake friends. However this is not true.

These friendships are different in nature to others you may have, but that doesn't make them valueless. Think for a moment about the people you actually do see in the flesh. How much do you really know about them? With the exception of an elite group, most are probably just people you say hello to, but really know nothing about, and have no deep involvement with. No-one suggests we should not form these casual attachments - they are an integral part of all our lives.Facebook friends, on the whole, fall into this category. The hello' might be the exchange of virtual gifts, but the meaning is the same. It is a superficial but necessary and often enjoyable social contact.
Just as in real life, you are quite at liberty to attempt to make a casual relationship like this into something stronger. Just as you can choose to strike up a conversation in real life, you can choose to talk to your facebook friends by sending a message. It is just a different media for meeting people. Some may stay as superficial contacts, some may want to talk to you and eventually become regular correspondents. It is a different way to socialize.
One advantage that Facebook and other on-line sites have is that you can get a little more information about the other person. I would always check a new friend's profile, and I won't become their friend if there is anything there that really goes against my beliefs. It could be a good thing to decide on friendships on the basis of interests, and what someone has to say , rather than on looks or on how attractive they seem over a few drinks in the local pub!
On Facebook, you can gain international contacts few of us would have the chance to do so in daily life.
What does seem odd and pointless to me is the increasingly common practice of joining groups aimed at getting as many facebook friends as possible. I tried one or two of these, and the result was lots of new friends,who I knew absolutely nothing about, and who I had no communication with at all. Now I only make new facebook friends if they are showing a mutual interest or send me a message. That is my choice; others are free to make their own choices.

Facebook friends are not a replacement for normal social contact, they are an addition to it.

One final advantage to online friends of any kind. If you tire of them, or discover an irreparable difference of outlook, you just delete them!

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