was hard to believe that he'd actually marry me. My baggage would be pretty heavy it seemed to me, but he changed my name and identity very willingly.
I believed that he was simply a saint, or a martyr who chose to sacrifice his life to take care of mine, and the legally blind, disabled human being I came to be. It seemed so noble of him, but then again, the only soul who attached that role to him was me. He didn't seem to see me as a victim, but identified my life through wiser eyes than mine.
The rude awakening came one day when my new and improved husband said something to me that left me pondering the meaning of my life. It happened one night when I realized that I'd need to find the bathroom in a very dark room. Trying to keep from awakening my hero, I got out of bed and crept through the room. As blind as a bat as I believed myself to be, it never occurred to me there would be any other way to find the toilet seat other than to feel my way blindly. I was doing fine for a time until I smacked my face into the bathroom door. I had no clue the door was closed, so it was like hitting a brick wall. I shouted out, "OUCH," which awakened my man. He sat up in bed and said, "What's wrong? Are you okay?"
"No," I sobbed! " I'm not okay! The bathroom door hit me in the face, and by the way, I'M SICK AND TIRED OF BEING BLIND," I cried.
About that time, my husband got out of bed and said, "Everyone is blind in the dark, so if you want to see where you're going, why don't you try turning on the light?"
FIFTY-ONE AND SOON TO BE FIFTY-TWO: A TIME TO SEE THE LIGHT:
Soon after that day I began to ponder the meaning of my life. It seemed to me that enigmatic things happened to me all the time, but the strangest thing seemed to be how long it took me to finally see the light. There I sat, looking through the view of a mother of three independent victim and a survivor of a deadly disease, bankrupt and retired teacher on disability, blind as a bat and having a hot flash, when God seemed to say to me, "If you want to see the light, look for the gifts in life."
THE AWAKENING OF ME:
Today, I can honestly say that I've arrived as a middle aged, happy human being who is finally free to be me for the first time in my life. I can also say that I can see clearly, because you see, I'm only blind, legally. I'm labeled as disabled, but being visually impaired has given me opportunities I'd not have seen if I hadn't lost my eye sight. Sometimes life can bring one distracting thing after another
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