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became insane teens long before I'd be mature enough to deal with the insanity of parenting the insanity. Luckily, I and my teens survived my role as the sole parent in our home, but my marriage didn't. I filed for divorce one day while he remained at the golf course, of course. It seemed like a good idea at the time, and besides, I'd been waiting for a very long time to have some fun in my life.

4. Forty to Forty-Four: An Independent Victim

In spite of my high hopes of having fun by the time I turned forty-one, I found myself in bankruptcy court soon after the bitter divorce, which I blamed on my ex-husband of course. It wasn't exactly fun, but I can't say my bitterness set in right then. The truth is I'd been bitter for a very long time by then. If I had a dime for every time I cried, "Life is not fair," I'd be too rich to care. Instead, my bitterness poisoned me and I ended up with a dreaded disease which might have cost my life if I hadn't survived the bitterness which was released through the disease. That's why I can say today that I remain cancer free. I don't know why I always survive, but when chemotherapy threw me into an instantaneous menopause, it seemed to me that death would be better than surviving life.

I lived on borrowed time for a while as an independent victim until I realized to my surprise that I was fifty and still alive. When the awakening came, it seemed that my insight came too late when I suddenly lost my sight. Yes, it might be hard to believe, but it's true. I became legally blind over night, and no one could tell me why. It was early September and I recall that fact vividly in my mind. You see, I'd been a teacher for a very long time and early September is not a good time for a teacher to suddenly become legally blind. As a matter of fact, I'd taught life skills to the disabled, only to become one of them before I reached mid-life.

Forty-four to Fifty-one: A New Identity

I don't know why, but going blind was the last thing I ever dreamed I'd need to survive. It wasn't easy by any means. I could no longer drive or read or teach, so I retired on disability and changed my role from a cancer survivor to a visually impaired, disabled teacher on an early retirement which might have been fun at that time of life if it hadn't been for the fact that I could no longer drive to go anywhere or do anything with my invisible time. Needless to say, I felt lost and alone in the Twilight Zone, even though I found a new man and got married again. It

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