by E.M.Robinson

Created on: April 26, 2008   Last Updated: June 03, 2008

Telling children about an impending divorce may be one of the most difficult parenting tasks there is. There are some useful tips and resources, however, that can be very helpful at this challenging time.

The way your present this information is presented will have a lot to do with your child's response to this news. It is important not to put this discussion off, if divorce is the expected outcome. Both parents should tell their children about the divorce at the together,if possible.

Tips -

Children may be anxious and worried about what your divorce will mean to them.
Be ready to reassure your child that:
* they still has a family even though you, as parents, are going through a divorce.
* you are not rejecting them.
* you both will always love them
* they are not the reason for this divorce.

Discuss the situation with your children, and:
* Do not make disparaging comments about their other parent.
* Establish a climate of security and love in this time of change.
* Maintain as much normalcy as possible for their activities, interests, sports teams, music lessons, etc.
* Recognize their emotions and reactions.
* Tell them both of their parents love them.

You and your spouse need to agree on your explanation of what has happened and what will happen. The age(s)of your child(ren) will determine how many details you should reveal.

Be ready to address each of their concerns, such as:
- where they will go to school
- how things will be different
- whether they will still be able to go to camp, college, or go on an already planned trip or outing.

Resources -

Guidance- Consider seeking professional help from counselors at school or in the community. Explore resources such as help from your church community or from local agencies who work with children and families.

Wonderful Children's Books -
Books in which young characters are also going through this difficult time can be very helpful and reassuring to children and teens.
Here are some recommendations and the target ages:

1.)
Mama and Daddy Bear's Divorce by Cornelia Maude Spelman, Kathy Parkinson (Illustrator)
Publisher: Albert Whitman
Pub. Date: April 2001
ISBN-13: 9780807552223
Ages: 5 to 6

2.)
I Don't Want to Talk about It: A story about divorce for young children by Jeanie Franz Ransom, Kathryn Kunz Finney, Kathryn Kunz Finney (Illustrator)
Publisher: American Psychological Association
Pub. Date: January 2000
ISBN-13: 9781557987037
Age Range: 5 to 8

3.)
Was It the Chocolate Pudding?: A Story for Little Kids about Divorce by Sandra Levins, Bryan

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