by Branavan Ganesan

Created on: April 26, 2008

It has been said that the best thing a father can do for his children is to respect and love their mother. In many ways, children look to the father and mother as roles. Through his interactions with his wife, a father models values, ethics, morals and character to his children. Any parent can attest to the fact that children hear what you do a lot louder than what you say.

A father is responsible for making time for his kids.

As fathers in this day and age, we are in a difficult position in that our parents modeled behavior that was based on separation of labor. One important outcome of that was that the father worked and the mother tended to the house. Without realizing the origins, we as men place a value on work and advancement to the detriment of family time. It is a father's responsibility to make sure that he has time for his kids. Money was the focus of previous generations. Time through work/life balance is the new gold.

A father is responsible for his child's self esteem.

Research and studies have shown that the way a father treats his daughter in the first five years have lifelong consequences in her self esteem. With boys, the need to bond with the male in his life and get recognition and love is paramount. Issues of isolation, depression, addiction and deviance in boys stem in many cases to having an emotionally unavailable or absentee father. Does this mean a father has to be perfect? Of course not. Nobody is perfect. What this means is that the father has to be human and present in the moment when he is with his child.

A father is responsible for instilling values in his child

The best way to do this is by having open communication channels with his spouse. If single, then it is by working as much as possible to behave the way he would like to see his children behave. One of the most important lessons a father can teach his child is vulnerability. Daughters need to see their father emote; let their children put berets in their hair; laugh and roll around while they watch Disney and color Donald ducks together. It's entirely possible to be an authority figure and human at the same time. Remember that your children are extremely sophisticated, very complex, and almost definitely smarter than you are.

Love them, love them, love them.

What cannot be done by attempting perfection can be done by showing clearly the love a father feels for his child. To review, children are devilishly smart. They learn from your mistakes and respect your human condition as much as they delight in your superman status. When you love them, you show them you care.

In the end, that is what they remember the most.

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