by Ashley Burr

Created on: April 25, 2008

I think I might have had my most embarrassing moment yesterday since...well, I am never telling those other stories that involve peeing my pants, and trying on a swimsuit in WalMart, so DON'T ask...but suffice it to say, this was probably my third most embarrassing moment ever, as in, in my life. In this case, dear Lisa, it's funnier when it happens to me.

So I am casually strolling along with Duane, my little weiner dog, around my condo complex yesterday. Husband was home, baby was napping, the dog needed to be walked. So walk we did. It was all going pleasantly until Duane decided to take a dump on one of my unknown neighbor's lawns. Great. I didn't have a bag or even a little Kleenex or anything to dispose of his waste-every dog owner recognizes this dilemma and might be able to predict what happens next; probably not though, because although it obviously involves poop, it is way more mortifying than you might imagine.

SO, luckily for me, I thought, the trash cans were lined up along the sidewalk for trash day. I looked in each one to try and find some morsel of paper with which to pick up my dog's discarded dung and move on with my walk and life. Found one. Unluckily, it was at the very bottom of the empty trash can. I am 5'2. So I reach, reach. Come on, reach just a little bit more...oh crap. The trash can begins to slip, and what? Yes, I pretty much fall in. I have the bruise on my leg to prove it; it freaking hurt. But it gets better. Our friends, Dane and Kelly, from dental school just moved in to the complex (I wasn't sure exactly where until yesterday) and pulled up to the parking lot where I was tenderly pulling myself out of the trash can. They were on their scooter, staring at me blankly, while I desperately tried to explain that I was just rummaging through the trash to get a bag to pick up my stupid dog's crap. Oh, and they just so happened to be stopping to get their trash can...probably the one from which I had just exited. Anyway. They couldn't really hear me because they had their scooter helmets on (smart people, way to go) so that only added to the blank stare they were administering. At length, I abandoned the bag, found another small piece of paper, picked up the poop and made Dane-the dental student, not to be confused with Duane, my dog- swear to never tell anyone about what he had witnessed. But, I wised up and decided I couldn't keep it to myself. So there you go world wide web. It was great.

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