by Thomas Duerig

Created on: April 25, 2008

If there were a way to gauge my remorse
For not following through with your tried and true course
In the gallons of sadness that now pummel me
It would fill up four ponds, five lakes, and a sea.

I've been disorganized and I've been a mess,
And for a while now I've been kind of depressed.
All this emotion I desperately try to ignore;
Which is what I inevitably fail at and then hurt even more.

Right now it is late, right now I am young,
Right now all the hardship has only begun,
But it feels like a certainty and it feels like a fear
That no one will be the same person this time next year.

I am reminded of a starry night and a walk,
And some hours where I sat in a cold parking lot,
With my hands and my body wrapped with a beautiful girl's
Who for all intents and purposes was my entire world.
At the time it was late, at the time we were young,
At the time our relationship had only begun,
But it felt like uncertainty and it felt like the fear
That we might not be the same people this time next year.

If there were a way to gauge my regret
For all your moments I wasted that you could have spent
In the bittersweet sorrow felt when lovers part
It would trample three bodies, three minds, and three hearts.

If there were a way to gauge my resolve
To break the depressive cycle I've been plagued with so long
In the energy it takes to douse the passion in me
It would power six blocks, nine homes, one city.

You gave me the tools that I recently discarded,
I know what I've been doing and I know it's retarded.
I'm going to attempt to make up for what's gone;
This time I won't let myself do so much alone.

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