by Gary Maclean

Created on: April 25, 2008   Last Updated: February 08, 2012

There once was a woman from nowhere
Who desperately wanted to be somewhere
She asked her best man
Who was it, Stan or Dan?
To take her for a ride to anywhere

Her man was more than happy to oblige her
So he asked what conveyance she would prefer
Would it be a long train?
A bus, car or plane
That would whisk them out of Dodge in a blur?
 
The woman hadn't thought about the means

She was more concerned about the scenes
She said "Do what you must."
"But make sure it isn't a bus."
The man did and he came back with 2 machines

Now the woman was once more perplexed
She was getting perturbed and just about vexed
"Why make me select?"
"I don't want that wreck!"
"Must I do everything, good Lord, what's next?"

Well, you didn't give me any proper direction
You never said what would be your selection
Just tell me what you want
I'd be glad to help you flaunt
Your virtues, my love and my affection

The sad, generous man felt displaced
He wanted her happy but was disgraced
He chose the nicest rig
It was long, and it was big
He was certain this one wouldn't be replaced.

He drove up to her door and honked the horn
It wasn't too late, probably mid-morn
He got out, opened the door
Helped her in, could do no more
Then he walked around to his side all forlorn

The window came down on his door
He gave the driver a fiver no more
Said here's my direction
That one there's a rejection
Don't bring her back and I'll give you some more

So the moral of this sad little tale
Is women, tell us, we're only male
What do you need?
We'll take the lead
And make you happy, without fail

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