by Thom Amundsen

Created on: April 25, 2008

Tonight, I came home and talked with my 13 year old son about his school grades. Together we realized he was failing two classes with four weeks remaining in the semester. I asked him why this is happening, and after going back and forth for a bit, he began to cry and said, "I don't know". I held him in my arms and told him I loved him, and I understood how overwhelmed he felt with his missing homework. I told him that he wasn't a bad kid, he had just developed some bad habits. I realized I needed to step in and teach my son how to be responsible for his efforts in school.

Guiding our children in a positive direction is one of a father's primary responsibilities.

Research indicates a child growing up without a father figure in their lives is more likely to drop out of school than one who has a relationship with their father(US Dept of Health and Human Services). The reality seems rather simple then, that a father is certainly important to the lives of our children.

Perhaps I am biased having been raised in a loving family where both parents were available and quite involved in my life. When hardships arose, my father consoled me and though I didn't always heed his advice, he would never abandon my needs. During my teenage years my father taught me the essence of values, responsibility and good judgment. Along with that guidance my father's wrath arose if I wasn't holding up my end of the bargain. I can still recall the fear I felt when bringing home my unsatisfactory report card; I would hear my mother say, "Just wait until your father gets home". We didn't have the luxury of 'white-out' in those days.

As a young adult I witnessed my father's undying integrity and character, assets I had hoped to attain in my future life as a parent. Up until the day he passed, I felt compelled by his support and passion for my well-being. His confidence in me certainly is attributed to the actions I take in my adult life today.

Today, I am a father of two beautiful children. I have always loved them and cherished the miracle that has been bestowed upon my wife and me by their virtual existence in our lives. To imagine not being with my children is beyond comprehension. Our lives are mapped together in such a manner that we feed off of each other and count on one another's presence to inspire and sustain the challenges that we encounter on a daily basis. My responsibility as a father then, lies in that very existence in their formative years as well as their young adult lives.

In respect to instilling strong values and morals in my children's lives there is a need to assure my children they will not be abandoned when difficult challenges occur in their lives. I try to be a part of all of their successes and failures so that they recognize their value in my life. Without the parenting I received in my childhood I would certainly not be the person I am today. We may all have different philosophies regards a father's role in their children's lives, but essentially our primary responsibilities is simply to be in the lives of our children.

Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. National Center for Health Statistics. Survey on Child Health. Washington, DC; GPO, 1993.

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