by G. D. Carroll

Created on: April 25, 2008   Last Updated: April 04, 2012

More like what don't people do while driving. With nearly 25 years of driving under my belt, I would like to have said I've seen it all.however I have learned to never underestimate the human imagination.

Well, I would say the most popular pass time of the middle-aged male driver would undoubtedly be picking his nose. Engrossed in the rear view mirror, digging for the evasive morsel of mucus, hidden like a treasure under the thatch of nose hairs, he is startled by the blare of the horn from the car behind him. Ladies you are no better, and often purchase the car with the darkest tint on the driver and passenger windows all to ensure their anonymity as they go elbow deep in order to complete their early morning grooming. All of this usually occurs, before you pick up the other members of the car pool. Don't you just get a lump in your stomach when you think about the poor manicurist who did such a good job on your nails yesterday, not to mention the money you paid for those lovelies, and just so you could do this?

I am very thankful for evolution; we very well could be witnesses to a much worse display from our cohabitants, during our morning and evening commutes. If you have ever been to the chimpanzee house at the zoo, you will understand this completely, there is a reason you don't get too close to the bars.

Having been in the public safety field for more than a decade, I have been witness to much stranger activities from drivers and their passengers.

One very unique incident comes to mind; driving on the highway on my way home one evening I end up behind a stake body truck loaded with port-a-potties, and to my amazement I glance up and see a hand, yes a hand, waving toilet paper from one of the doors.

At first I am puzzled and frankly questioned my sanity and level of consciousness. This changed quickly as a small square quilted note flew up on my windshield, and was scrawled with the word help. At this point I silently giggled, and called the state police to give them the details, and had it not been the fact that I knew the desk officer I was speaking with, this undoubtedly could have become a much bigger event than the passenger had planned. As I continued behind the vehicle, the trooper pulled up behind the truck and I pulled to the median, the truck quickly followed. The driver questioned the officer as to why he had been pulled over, as the truck was loaded and he couldn't do much more than the minimum speed limit to begin with. I stood there with

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