What horrible thing is this
That's taking a hold of me?

Who understands my pain? Who understands my agony?
The torturous headaches that become a berserk symphony
Crescendos of misery - classics of pain
I've had enough of living this again and again

I spend my life
Fighting for control
Against something which has it's fingers

Already embedded in my soul
Infinite heartbreaking solitude
Surrounds me all the time
Living in constant fear of myself at the foot
Of the mountain of happiness alone I cannot climb

I try to scream - I cannot
I want to move - Icannot do so

Bound by the sense of powerlessness
That paralyzes us in our dreams
The sensation of gloomy wretchedness
Destroying memories - I know what nothing means

I am consumed in a life which is killing me
I need to escape my poisoned soul
Nowhere to hide or run away from the truth
I want to be back in control
If I cannot kill the pain
Ther's not much left I can do
Except remove my miserable being
From this life I can't keep living

Lithium - Quetiapine
These are supposed to help me through
Lamotragine - Dothiepin
My darkest moments are supposed to subdue

I know I shouldn't complain
Give me a few more days, this depression will cease
And I'll be manic for a change

Learn more about this author, Cerian Akalin.
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