1) Love begins with yourself: In kindergarten we're all taught to share and give until it hurts, thus getting criticized for putting your own interests first. And when we're in love, it feels good to always do things for the one we love, even to the point of making their obligation our own (i.e. homework, waking up and meeting up with). At first, thank you might sound so delightful but spoiling your partner will turn you into a maid (literally). We might not realize it but saying and striving for what we want is a way of gaining self-respect and a sign that you're strongly driven. Being submissive will soon be a turn off. No one can step on you if you put up at least a thin firewall for yourself. It's nice to do good things for the one we love. After all good karma is for real. But you still have to SHOW THAT YOU HAVE YOUR OWN NEEDS AND GOALS. So if you want to live happily ever after make sure you're also being treated like a princess.

2) Love is a decision and not a feeling: When we're dating we have nothing but butterflies in our tummy and the thought of when we get to see our prospects again. Knock, knock It's a new thing going on. Of course you'll both think that's it. But remember psychology? Your boy bud can get bored a bit in 3 mos. And if you're going steady, watch out for the 2nd year sting. You might also notice that you miss getting rowdy in an all girls night out and not having to fight with anyone. So when you think you're up for commitment you have to be sure you really enjoy being with each other whether with friends or just the TWO of you. If you almost memorize each other's routine you HAVE TO find a new way to interest yourselves and fall in love again, or else other people's fresh presence might excite either of you.

3) Love needs work, work and more work: If you think you can tie your hair in a ponytail everyday just because he said you look cute in it, think again. By day ten, he'll miss your hair being let down. Guys are visual and highly affected by stimuli. So maybe you should change scents once in a while and not wear the same boring baby tee and jeans, thinking that he would rather see you simple. Come on. You should also have interests so you'll have something to look forward to besides sitting on a bench and talking about what names to give your future children. Let's not scare anyone away. Love is pure, but humans are not. So stimulate your noses, eyes and ears. Surprise yourselves without having to wait for occasions. Stimulate your brains too so your heart and hypothalamus will scream love'.

4) Love has no guarantees. Your lover might be the sweetest thing right now. Give him 5 minutes on tv and let him see the new stars. He might secretly lust over them and think how much he's been missing ever since he gave up his single hood. Let's not be surprised if he's not so into getting lonely this weekend and that he'd rather have you both join a group even if there's no event. Remember, a lot of things confuse people, so there's no reason why love should be easy to scan in our H20 filled brains.

5) Love includes acceptance and rejection. Let's accept if It's not working and let's reject if they're not exerting effort to "love us" (i.e. make us happy, makes us happier). The longer it gets the harder it is to detach ourselves. Even reaching the point where we say sorry for what we didn't do just to SAVE what we can't. Darling we're not super heroes. Might be a clich but let me tell you again, there's always somebody better if you're worth it and you're aware of it. So let go and let go some more.

Lastly love is hard because nothing's easy. So enjoy more than emote. And be beautiful for the world and not for anyone in particular.

Learn more about this author, Juliana Alano.
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