by Deborah Hunter

Created on: April 25, 2008

This makes me think of a line in a Micheal Jackson song, it says, I'm looking at the man in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways. Unfortunately he did not take his own advice. Be that as it may, if you are making the same mistakes or repeating the same patterns in dating it is time to take a look at your self.

Take inventory, write a list of the things that are occurring repeatedly in your dating experiences. Then really take a deep look and yourself and try to figure out how you keep getting into these situations and what you can do to avoid them.

Someone once told me the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I don't know if I agree with this or not but maybe unconsciously your are doing something that is giving you the results that you don't want.

One of the things I know a lot of people do is to judge the new person in their life based on their past experiences. So the new person starts off behind the eight ball so to speak and has to pay for the hurts that were inflicted on you by others. This is not fair to the person who is just trying to get to know you.

Unconsciously you may have build up a wall to keep yourself from being hurt and without knowing it you may be pushing potential relationships away. The most important thing you can do is take a look at yourself, you can also ask people closest to you what they see. Then you have to make a change in your life that will break these patterns.

It's very important that you do not continue to feel bad about the mistakes you made. Everyone makes mistakes. The most important thing to do is not to repeat your mistakes but to learn from them. You can actually turn your life around from the lessons you learn. Do not make excuses to continue doing the same thing over and over. Excuses will only keep you in your current situation.

Don't rehearse your mistakes, tell them over and over to everyone you know. Put your past behind you and move on. Picture yourself where you want to be. Take notice of your habits. Get rid of any habits that may be keeping your from accomplishing your goal. Celebrate each small victory, each bad habit broken. Surround yourself with people who will celebrate you and help you get to where you are going. Take periodic inventory of your situation and make the necessary changes. Never give up. The changes you make in yourself will change your life.

Learn more about this author, Deborah Hunter.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.