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Computer technical support horror stories

I worked for the biggest computer company in the world for five years. I've started as a frontline agent then I gradually moved up to management position. Being a phone technician, solving other people's problem is not a small feat. You need to have the patience and problem solving skills to resolve the customers' issues. But of course, being a customer calling technical support is equally challenging. Here's an actual call by one of my new agents to show you the two sides of the horror.

"Ring ring"
Technician: Thank you for calling. This is Jose. How may I help you?

Customer: My computer can't find the search engine.

Technician: Ok. May I have your name please?

Customer: Doug.

Technician: How to you spell that ma'am er sir?

Customer: D-O-U-G

Technician: Ok. Sorry the line is a bit choppy.

Customer: That's ok.

Technician: May I have your computer's serial number?

Customer: It's A-B-C-4-3-2-1

Technician: Uh. Can you say that again slower? The line is choppy.

Customer: Phew. It's A-B-C-4-3-2-1. (starting to get irritated)

Technician: Uh. Oh. So how may I help you?

Customer: How many times do I have to tell you? The computer can't find the search engine!

Technician: Uh. Ok. Here's what we're going to do. Right click on the desktop.

Customer: Ok. Then what?

Technician: Then click on properties.

Customer: Display properties showed up. What am I going to do here?

Technician: Uh. Let's close that out.

Customer: Do you know what you're doing dummy?

Technician: Yes.

Customer: You've already wasted 8 minutes of my time! You &?@$*%! What are we going to do now?

Technician: Sir, what exactly is happening?

Customer: How many times do I have to tell you? If can't find the search engine! When I open in up, it just searches and searches and can't find the search engine! I wish I can see your face and slam it on my computer. You &?@$*%!

Technician: Oh ok. What type of internet connection are you using?

Customer: The connection has nothing to do with it!

Technician: I need to know what type of connection you're using so I CAN HELP you. (equally frustrated)

Customer: I'm using wireless. What now?

Technician: Oh wireless. I can't help you.

Customer: What do you mean you can't help me?

Technician: You're using wireless, right? I don't support wireless. I will have to transfer you.

Customer: Aaaaahrg! You &?@$*%!

Technician: Sir, I'm asking you to stop using profanity.

Customer: You wasted my time! You &?@$*%! If I can see I'm going to * you! Transfer me!

Technician: Ok. I will transfer you. But before I transfer you, I need you to take down this reference number.

Customer: Transfer me! You &?@$*%!

Technician: Sir, you need to take down this number: 1234567

Customer: I wish I can get my hands on you what's the number again!?

Technician: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7

Customer: Ok. Got it.

Technician: Sir, is there anything else I can help you with?

Customer: TRANSFER ME! You &?@$*%!

Technician: Ok. Please stay on the line.

Learn more about this author, Jay Zapanta.
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Computer technical support horror stories

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