Friendships are precious, and like many precious things, they are also delicate. A true friendship goes beyond an acquaintanceship, but often the two are confused. In a real friendship, there is honesty and depth. There is mutual caring and respect and a mutual commitment to the friendship. We make ourselves vulnerable to real friends. There is the capacity for disappointment but more importantly room for forgiveness. Any true friendship will have ups and downs, but it will be worth it.

Some friendships are for a lifetime. My mother and I are close friends, and we will always be in each other's lives and memories, in the event that one of us passes away. We love each other and confide in each other, but we also have our moments of anger with each other.

As far as other friends, I have had many close female friendships. While some of them have been wonderful, my belief is that most did not, or will not, last for a lifetime.
Since half all marriages end in divorce, I guess that this should not be all that surprising. The harsh reality is that friends do come and go, and losing a good friend can be almost as painful as a divorce.

The tricky thing about friendships is that people sometimes are not honest within the friendship out of fear of upsetting the other party. People hold back on what is bothering them, so the offense may be repeated again and again by the other party. This tactic may keep the peace for the short term, but it is not a wise way to treat a friendship. It is not being fair to the relationship, and eventually those things that are annoying may lead to the demise of the friendship, without a chance ever being given for improvement in that area.

Just as our strengths our often our weaknesses, some of the things we admire in a friend can also be the very traits that drive us away. In a society where people increasingly do not want to work through things, the challenge of maintaining and honest friendship is harder than ever.

Sometimes the friendship may end naturally due to things that happen in life. People move. Common interests change. Someone gets married. Someone else gets divorced. Some people become possessive. Others are too fickle. Some stop drinking. Others drink too much. The list could go on and on, but without a mutual commitment to work through and adjust to changes, then the friendship does not have good odds of lasting.

The Bible teaches us to love others. If we try to follow that, it is especially is disappointing when close friendships end, not matter what the reason. However, if we learn from mistakes, grow more comfortable in our skin and become less self-centered, we will make new and perhaps long-lasting friends. We may be able to repair some damaged friendships, and at the very least, we can focus on being kind to others.

Friendships are truly precious. As long as we remember that, we can all be better friends to those in our lives.

Learn more about this author, Ann E. Smith.
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